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6/05/08 Subject: THE BOOTY SHAKE CHAMPIONSHIPS ARE HERE!
We’re hosting the Central Illinois’ Regional Finals for the TWC Booty Shake Championships with KISS-FM this Saturday at Crusens in Peoria! To keep it reeeaally real, the winner will be chosen by a combination of both audience love and the judge’s panel. Yeah, we said it, a judge’s panel. The winner gets the below authentic Booty Shake title belt for six months until she has to defend it at the Booty Shake World Series in Chicago this December!
 The winner will also get a free hotel room downtown Chicago on the night of the World Series! This is the big one, P-town! Ladies, two more days to get your squats in! This shit just got serious.
We’re also lobbing in a new Fly Girl, D-train! She ain’t new to TWC, but it’s her first time raging in P-town, so we hope you’ll show her some love!
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ 5/19/08 Subj: Suppose we can't blame her... ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 4/2/08 Subject: What's crackalackin' Tuesday March 04 2008 Subject: Look kids! It’s another "Name Our Fly Girl" contest! Our newest Fly Girl has been bouncin' her booty for the past month
and now it's time to give her a name. In keeping with tradition,
y'all get a chance to name her. Homeboys, check it -- this is your
opportunity to be able to look up that fine thaaang while she's
jackin' it on stage and mouth the words, "I naaaaamed you".
We ain't lady-hatin' here -- you're all in on this too, but we think
the fellas will have an extra special feeling if one of them wins
it. Get creative party people! Think random and sexy! Light up and free associate, bitchezzzz! Submit your entries by replying our myspace page! Peace & Humptiness, Too White Crew ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Monday February 11 2008 Subject: To all our outta town peeps! We have sooooo been feelin' the love! We'd love to come to all your cities (and countries) but we've only got one calendar and we ain't livin' the van life, so it takes a lot to get the Crew to hit up distant lands. BUT, we do have Texas inked for April and we're looking to get back to So Cal hopefully in June. Let us know if you know of a dopeass party, fest, event or club that TWC needs to bomb. Even five years later, there still ain't no otha band that do what we do, so we'll bring a scoop of our fresh flava to your hood if we can! Oh yeah, San Diego party people... Your emails and messages are
def not gettin' brushed off. We're workin' on it! Typhoon Saloon
is on our radar, along with a couple other events and clubs up through
the O.C. and L.A. Like C&C Music Factory once flowed, "Chill
babybaby, chill babybaby, wait!" Monday February 04 2008 Subject: Vote for TWC! Nitelife.org is having their 12th annual "Best of the Burbs" contest and Too White Crew is nominated for both "Best Hip Hop Band" and "Best Dance Band", so we're aksin' everyone to lob in a vote for us! The whole thing is kinda silly and we prolly shouldn't give a shit, but there IS a mild amount of bragging rights associated with it, and, well, who doesn't wanna win stuff? Plus, last year, thousands of people visited the site every day, so any press is good press yo. I'm not even sure I'd wanna be the "Best Dance Band" but fuck it, a win's a win. "Best Hip Hop" band? Out of principle, I'd like to walk away with that one so we'd appreciate the love. To vote, you gotta do the online equivalent of pissing in a cup -- cough up a little info, but it's pretty painless AND you won't have to walk around an office with a warm cup of your own piss, so that's pretty cool. If you're REALLY fuckin' bored, you can vote once a day, every day, through March 15th. We'd tohhhtally give you a reacharound for that too. There's a shitload of stuff to vote for in case you wanna burn up some bandwith. Thanks, and remember...hugs not thugs. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted Wednesday January 23 2008 Subject: It’s comin’! "The Booty Shake World Series!" We're not even kidding. We can't make this shit up. Wait. Maybe we can. And we did. If you have ever won a TWC Booty Shake Contest, you're in. If you haven't, start booty poppin' and win one before we announce the World Series location and date. The Booty Shake Champion of the World will get the below title belt for one year. (Yes, it's a real championship belt.) Then they have to come back to defend the title at next year's World Series.
Each contestant gets free admission for themselves and a guest. That's part of the award for being so fly. Speaking of fly, whether your previous TWC Booty Shake victory was in Chicago, L.A., Vegas -- we know you'll wanna fly in for this. If you win it all, we'll fly you in next year to defend your title. The winner will be chosen by a combination of audience applause and the scoring from our esteemed judges panel. It's about time that the greatest booty shakers of the world unite on stage and battle it out for the world title. Party people, it just got serious. Stay tuned... Posted Wednesday January 23 2008 Subject: Hip hop classics depicted in charts and graphs In an effort to appeal to TWC fans who have academic suffixes attached
to their names, we would like to pass along these charts and graphs
to illustrate the messages of some of our favorite old skool jams...
Check
it out here... ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted December 31 2007 Subject: Coolest Cab Driver EVER! Gotta give out props to this G from P-town. We've all lost our shit in a cab before and here's a one-in-a-million story of a cab driver who needs to be inducted into the Cabbie Hall of Fame. Check it: It's 4AM and some change. We're rollin' deep in Peoriyo after our show Friday and we have a cab take us from SOP's back to Crusens so we can grab booze out of my ride to take back to the HOEtell. We're completely sideways by now. At some point earlier in the night, I decided it would be a good idea to take my car key off the ring. The force that pulls valuables away from humans and glues them to cab seats was in full effect and smelled my loose key. I dih'n't realize I lost my key until we took another cab back to Crusens Saturday afternoon. That's when the real shit went down. There was a note on my ride from the cab driver with his moby on it. He not only had my key but he also drove it back to Crusens for me. HEEEEALL YEAH. Homeboy coulda had himself an '08 Lex and everything in it, but it did the right thang. We hooked him up and all, but man that's a solid. After checking out the pics from our camera, looks like we had a party in his cab and we actually have a pic of the G, so here he is, gettin' a lil' love from Jakpot. If you're from the P and you know him, please give him props. A waitress from Crusens said he returned her phone once too, so this ain't the only time he's done good.
Much love to ol' boy and especially to his momma for raisin' him right! ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted Wednesday, November 28, 2007 Subject: SIU! -- We forgot all about cha! We were just doin' some housecleaning and realized we never posted the pics from our SIU shitstorm last Spring. We normally wouldn't bother bloggin' about it this much after the fact, but the pics brought back some great memories. The pics are up right huuuuur. Here are some highlights, most of which are represented in the pics: 1) The dude who crashed his SUV into a light pole cuz he was checkin' out the Girls Gone Wild trailer in the parking lot. Seriously, there wasn't a single car in the lot, and this G had to find a target that's less than a foot in diameter. As if this Bottom Ten Percentile wasn't already a Darwin Award candidate, his car wouldn't start so he had to wait for the tow truck...and cops to come, at which point he also got ticketed and publicly stoned by everyone who witnessed the 45 minute hot mess. 2) Thong biting. Not recommended during job interviews. 3) Jakpot & Hot Wheelz puttin' on a dance clinic at 4AM on top of our U-Haul. 4) I57, exit 103. All y'all Salukies prolly don't find it funny, but when you're seeing it for the first time, an exit sign with an arrow that says "Dix" is pretty damn funny. Especially when ya got a car full a' Fly Girls who think like dudes. It's funny just like how that insanely large cross on I 57 AIN'T. If that don't put the fear of SUH'in' inside you, nuthin' will. 5) The afta parties. Can't remember what them apartments were called behind Copper Dragon, but it became obvious pretty fast that you shouldn't bother living in that complex if you have any interest in sleep, your health or your education. Top highlight: one apartment's bathroom was so foul that C went to find out who lived there -- for no other reason than to congratulate the dude for just straight up not giving a fuck. We figured the dude wouldn't be hard to spot. He's the guy with no body hair. We knew this because hair clippings caked every surface in the bathroom. After asking pretty much everyone in that apt, we come to learn NO ONE had any idea who lived there. So that means not only was the dude NOT at his own party, but he also didn't know ANYONE at his own party. Now that's a fuckin' baller. Bald, slippery, don't give a fuck, M.I.A.-at-5AM baller. 6) Tallest brutha in the world, and the Fly Girls who wanna climb him. 7) Flashing truckers. Even more fun when you realize they radio all the other trucks in the area, turning your ride into semi bait for some very thirsty truckers. 8) Booty Shake contest winners who change into their prize right thuuuur on stage. We're not talkin' slopping our "Got Back?" shirt over THEIR shirt. Hell naw. They gots a much better idea. 9) A message to the force that permanently separates people from their cell phones: "TAKE THIS, BITCH." The scene: It's 6AM and we just drove to the HO-tel from the bar after a lengthy feeding/melee at the T-bell drive in. Total distance, ~3 miles, including potholes, speed bumps, turns and other sure-fire obstacles designed to dislodge a cell phone that's sitting on top of the attached U-Haul's wheel well. That's right. Jakpot's phone made it awwl the way home. You can make us all drop our phones in a pisser, rip them away from us in taxis and bars but you can't make one fall off a tiny, flat surface going more than 30 miles an hour?! SUCK IT!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 11/27/07 Subject: Our merch store is finally up! It only took us FIVE F'IN YEARS but it's here -- and it's just in time for the holla, holla, holladays. Go to www.toowhite crew.com and click on the "merch" tab found on our graffiti wall. Pick the shirt style, the color, the size and the slogan, cough up some scratch and it'll be sent to you. That simple. Hats and other shizzle will be added soon. For clarification, "soon" in TWC time is sometime before the next icon appears in the below "evolution of man" diagram.
Posted 11/26/07 Subject: This just in -- Our NYE show will be
sold out soon! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 10/31/07 Subject: TOO WHITE CREW'S HUGE NYE SHOW ANNOUNCED! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 10/24/2007: Recent TWC Highlights Run DMC's Darryl McDaniels creepin' our show in Hollywood...Jakpot tying Tasty K for the lead on our "Fly Girl Split Pants Scorecard"...stories about the TWC Boone's Bong producing some life-threatening hangovers...Rebate getting his face sat on during Baby Got Back... and Shor T and M80 doing some Kriss Kross at a Karaoke bar in Santa Barbara to a crowd that had NO idea what just hit 'em. Up next...Halloween at Crusens and Bourbon St. Might wanna lock the doors. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 7/25/2007: Top 3 moments at the Brat Stop: 1. The two G's from Zion in the front row throwin' $20's and $50's on stage like they were napkins. Musta been close to a $1000 on our stage by the time we figured out they weren't singles. Whoever you are, much love. 2. The big daddy who volunteered a $100 for the winner of the Booty Shake contest. That's some big pimpin', home skillet. You're the inspiration for our upcoming "Big Daddy" director's chair for anyone who wants to do that in the future. The Big Daddy will also get to decide who should get the $$. 3. The latest split pants episode. Booty Shake contest. First round. The bootiest of them all dropped it and split 'em wide open. And she WASN'T rockin' grannies. She either dih'n't know...or dih'n't care, cuz she went all the way to the finals with her back seat vent. If you want to see the "Baby Got Crack" pics, peep our comments section where a couple pics have already gone up. Mad props to all the Waukillas, who represented by the layers! C ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 6/30/07 subject: Caaaalifornia Luuuuv After almost two years, TWC is making a return to the west coast! Three dates are inked: Th. 10/4 at the Knitting Factory Fri. 10/5 at Brick by Brick in San Diego Sat. 10/6 at Velvet Jones in Santa Barbara. Sign up for our mailing list and we'll only creep you for our west
coast updates! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 4-24-07 subject: Audishizzile's all ovah . "Yo, it's about that time! To bring forth the rhythm and the rhyme!" Too White Crew is booking so many shows that we've gotta start gettin' some mo' playas in the mix! First things first... FLY GIRL AUDITIONS! Wed., May 2nd at Joe's on Weed St. (9:00PM), we're gonna have another Fly Girl audition party. Fellas, don't worry, none of the Fly Girls are leaving. In fact, being a TWC Fly Girl carries just about the lowest attrition rate of any Jay Oh Bee in the history of the free world. We just need anotha. Her debut show is going to be May 25th at Joe's for the WORLD'S LARGEST COLLEGE PARTY! (Did we mention the 25 cent beers?!) Please PASS THIS ON TO THAT RIDICULOUSLY FLY friend of yours who turns all the heads when she shakes her money maker! Next, as many of you know, TWC hasn't kept a full schedule because our calendar is shared by the calendars of our bandmates' other bands. The time has come for TWC to accept more shows and to travel more, so with that we need some more talent to join the Crew: 1) We are going to be seeking a new bass player, as Yo Bass! has made the most difficult decision to return to his other band, 7th Heaven for their grueling 45-show summer tour! We wish Yo! all the best and we hope that he'll fill in from time to time! 2) We need understudies for both QueLyte (keys, vocals) and Professor Milk (guitar, vocals). They ain't goin' nowhere but our schedule needs some ringers with mad skillz so TWC can keep bringing that mad flow even if QueLyte and Milk have other shizzle on their plizzle. We are going to be combing all hoods for the most talented, fly
cats so please hollaback if you've got the skillz to be a part of
this wild, wild ride. More will follow soon on all of this so watch
our blog for all the details. Posted 4-23-07 subject: JACKED! C-note's Humpty Jacket & clock So we had the wildest show ever at Daddios in Bloomington last night, but it was waaay soured by someone jacking my shit off the stage at the end of the night. My yellow plaid Humpty jacked was a signed gift from Shock G (the Humpty himself) so it really has no value to anyone but me. They also jacked my P.E. clock and humpty hat. Believe me, I'm totally down with doing stoopid shit, but this one stings. Please, party people, I ain't mad atcha. Just want my stuff back. Money can't replace that jacket. Thanks for an otherwise sick night B-town! C-note Posted 3-12-07 subject: "Booty Shake Contest", a primer. For starters, we looooove the booty. ALL booties. But when it comes to the TWC Booty Shake Contest, sometimes we need to regulate a lil bit. Our half-time show is a time for storybook asses to unite on stage, make fellas sweat, apply some much needed stickers, and award sensational booty owners with fabulous prizes. But that's not what this blog is about. This is a primer course to make sure that qualified candidates bum rush the TWC stage. As Salt-N-Pepa once said, "This dance ain't for ev'rybody...ooooonly the sexy people..." Here's a quick list of the things our Booty Shake Contest AIN'T: 1) A Hot Chick Contest. Not that we have anything against hot chicks, but it's a BOOTY Shake contest. In fact you don't have to be hott at all, but if you happen to be hott AND have a Booty that shakes like a paint stirring machine, chances are you'll go far. In the contest...and in life. 2) A "It's-my-birthday-and-I-wanna-be-on-stage" Contest. Once again, if it's your birthday AND you can shake dat asssss, have at it. But the Booty must come first. If you just wanna git up on stage and get all squirrly, hold out for Baby Got Back and let loose. The added bonus is that everyone's so marinated by the time we drop Sir Mix-a-lot that no one's gonna remember just how loose you got. 3) A "My-friends-made-me-do-it" Contest. Friends don't let friends with no ass in a Booty Shake contest. There are two parts to a Booty Shake. One is that you have a Booty, and two, that you can shake said Booty. I ain't gonna lie though, we've had some narrowasses take home top honors, so the Booty don't have to be piling out them jeans. But when them little thangs win, it's usually 'cause they popped it so hard that the Booty Shake sticker flew off that asss.
And this goes against everything a guy knows, but we also have to aks that you don't strip or flash your junk. After the show? Game on. On stage though, we'll get a beatdown by the Five-Oh's if you do. We've got mad love for all Booties and the dimes who own them. It is, however, up to the crowd to see who gets the nod. So shake what yo' momma gave ya and let the crowd know who's the bootiest of them all. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 3-5-07 subject: "My Favorite Things" -- A TWC Remix Last weekend was so off the charts, we needed to document it in flow. We'll defer to the Sound of Music's "My Favorite Things" for the beat inside your head while you read along with this "All-309 weekend" pictorial. My Favorite Things -- A Too White Crew remix P-town and B-town
where nobody disses, Big D and Cantone
and Garfield and Mattches, When the booties shake,
what the crowd brings, Posted 2-7-07 subject: Too White Crew gear is here! So, we're finally gonna start sellin' some shit -- and it's just in time for Valentine's Day! Here's what's crackin': Wife beaters -- $15 Teddy Bears -- $20 YO! MTV Raps! cards -- $3 Coming soon -- "Rock out with your clock out" t-shirts, TWC tube socks and other wife beaters.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 1-16-07 Subject: Best of the Burbs contest
-- Please vote for TWC! It's back...the 11th Annual Best of the Burbs contest at nitelife.org. Please peep their site and vote for us for "Best Hip Hop Band". They're gonna want you to register, but the categories are kinda entertaining -- best lead singer, best club, best DJ, best burger, and of course, best hip hop band. Unfortunately, they didn't have a "Best Fly Girl" category. Kick ass waste of 5 minutes of your time nonetheless. And if you're hell bent on helping someone win, you can vote once a day. For other suggestions on bands to vote for, check out our "Top 20"! Big hug. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 1-4-07 Subject: New Year's Eve recap What a night. 4000 people, ABC-TV and the most professional sound/lighting rig we've ever seen. DJ Strike lit the match and we shared the stage with a couple great bands -- Marty Casey & the Lovehammers and Collective Soul. Hit up our myspace site for video clips, I'm just the drummer - puttin' them in here is too complicated. :) ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 12-3-06 Subject: Look kids, it's another "Name our Fly Girl" contest! This Saturday at Joe's we will be debuting our newest Fly Girl!
In keeping with tradition, y'all get a chance to name her. And homeboys, check it -- this is your opportunity to be able to look up that fine thaaang while she's jackin' it on stage and mouth the words, "I naaaaamed you". We ain't lady-hatin' here -- you're all in on this too, but we think the fellas will have an extra special feeling if one of them wins it. She finally got all up in tha 'Space so click on her picture to hug up with her and to check out what she's all about! The winner gets 4 comped tiks to her debut show with TWC at Joe's next Saturday and mad props everywhere. Get creative party people! And here are a couple of tips: it should be easy to shout and not involve a letter since we've already got names like that. Think random and sexy! Light up and free associate, bitchezzzz! Peace & Humptiness, C-note & the Too White Crew P.S. Scroll down to read about our last "Name our Fly Girl" contest! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 11-28-2006 Subject: NYE We just got the wuuuurd, yo -- ABC is gonna televise the first four songs of our New Years Eve blowout show! Here's how it's goin' down. First of all, this NYE party is the biggest in Chicago...on the real. 1000 tickets were already sold before Thanksgiving. Capacity is 4000 and it WILL sell out. Too White Crew is performing with Marty Casey & the Lovehammers and Collective Soul for the ABC televised annual "Chicago New Year's Eve Rock 'N Roll Ball". Yeah, that's right, "Rock 'N Roll" with an old skool HIP HOP tribute band to light the match. Ain't that a kick in the parachute pants!? For $85, they've got OPEN BAR from 8 till midnight, a hellacious live music lineup, a dance lounge with our homeboy DJ Gusto spinning all night -- all at a killer joint with a great view of the Chicago fireworks -- The Sheraton Chicago Hotel & Towers. $85 may seem like a lot -- unless you've tried to throw down on NYE in the City. 85 bucks usually gets you a towel and a piece of gum from the bathroom attendant. Here, you can actually get your buzz on for less than a C-note (pun intended). So, if you're coming, PLEASE get your tickets soon (click here) and get there at 8:00! DJ Strike is gonna spin vinyl from 8:00 till 8:45. Our set is from 8:45 till 9:45. We're hoping you'll bum rush the stage because ABC is filming right when we start! They'll broadcast it a little later in the evening. When we're done, we're gonna throw down all night. The party ends at 2, but suh'in' tells me we might have a hotel room where the after party's at. BTW, there are room packages so your license doesn't go to the man. Check out all the options when you order tiks! C-note & the Too White Crew
Posted 11-22-2006 Subject: TWC's hip hop history of Thanksgiving So, it's like this. Lemme take you way back -- we're talkin' like early 1600's. Up until then, the Pilgrims couldn't grow shit. They were faded, just like their dreams of livin' large; everyone was gettin' jacked and poppin' caps. But in 1621, the colonists rocked it. Crops had mad growth and everyone was grubbin' like they goin' to the chair; they built fly cribs and no one hassled the Indians; the Indians weren't in anyone's grills either. It was the first and last time we'd ever see One Love. Governor Wil-Bra says, "Yo we gots ta have a bangin' party." And all the cats threw down. Like a week later, they're all like, "Man, that party was the bomb diggity, we gotta do this again". They collaborated and the Gov decided they're gonna kick it again...and again -- a crazy party the fourth Thursday of every November. They wanted to call it "Props-for-Crops Day" but some musket-flossin' cracker wanted it to be called Thanksgiving. As if. But he who has biggest gun wins. And so it became Thanksgiving. Too White Crew is celebrating Thanksgiving at Sideouts in Island Lake, IL Wednesday night -- and at The Brat Stop in Kenosha, WI Saturday night. Patrons are welcome to share their "crops" with the band. :) Too White Crew Posted 11/2 Subject: "So You Wanna Be a Fly
Girl" Auditions! We've heard it from many of y'all for years... "I've always wanted to be a Fly Girl!" Well now's your chance! If you or someone you know is fly enough, Too White Crew is holding our first ever open auditions to be a Fly Girl! Here's the deal. Auditions are going to be Tuesday, November 14th at Joe's on Weed St. in Chicago from 8-10PM.
Auditions are being held in the back room and will involve some freestyling along with learning some TWC choreography on the "fly" (git it?) to test your skillz. In the front room at Joe's, it's college night with quarter beers so we're gonna turn this thing into a mad party when we're done. Hell it might turn into a mad party DURING the auditions! It would be very helpful to be a trained dancer. All of Too White Crew's Fly Girls are professional dancers (view Tasty K, Juicebox and Honeycomb's profiles!). They perform with Joel Hall Dancers, Instruments of Movement and Ascention. They've danced on cruise ships, worked for theme parks and have been in the casts of major musicals. One of our girls even toured with Jay-Z and R-Kelly; another's in London getting her master's in dance. So it's a liiittle more than just shakin' what cho' momma gave you! Being a TWC Fly Girl is crazy fun. You'll work hard learning the choreography then GET PAAAID to throw down several times a month. Our Fly Girls have gone with TWC to places like the Playboy Mansion in Beverly Hills, Hollywood, Las Vegas and will likely go again. A few other things: 1) Don't be confused about the name. We're the "Too White Crew" not the "All White Crew". All ethnicities are welcome! 2) Being a Fly Girl isn't just about the dancing. It's about helping throw a sick party. Please pass this around to anyone who is serious about dancing and who can make the crowd go "daaaaaomn"! 3) If you can make it, please hit us back so we have an idea of how many people are going to be auditioning! C-note & the Too White Crew Posted October 8th Subject: Lip syncing and other tricks of tha trade After another couple of recent episodes where people aksed us if we were lip syncing, I decided to repost a blog entry that i wrote a while ago, explaining TWC's dealio and what a lot of bands do when performing live: C-note here. So I'm at Crobar late Friday night after our show and I got hit up by a little vixen while we were waiting in line for the pissers. "So were ALL of you guys lip-syncing?" Part of me wanted find a new place for the microphone that was hanging out of my pocket. The other part of me wanted to be kind and answer the question that we innocently get asked at almost every show. The latter, as always, won out. But it's time to put it all out on the table, again, to air our laundry, which is far from dirty. Because events like these happen so frequently, I'ma get on my soapbox and speak the TWC peace. We have never and will never lip sync anything. We also don't use any tracks, pre-recorded music or even a click track for Woodsy Fresh to keep time. We don't run ProTools to help with harmonies or use any cheats of any kind. There. Damn, I feel better now. Maybe cuz people aren't used to seeing a live hip hop cover band (to date, we're the only ones who do what we do), they don't know how to process TWC. We really haven't had any haters, just a lot of people who don't know what the hell it is that we're really doing. There is no measuring stick for hip hop "bands" so people just don't know if we're frontin' or real. At almost every show, one of us usually shouts out that "everything you hear is live", to clear the air, but a lot of people don't even realize what we're implicating. Not only are we are humans imitating computers in a world where computers are imitating humans (which is pretty fucked up itself), but people don't realize how many bands track their shit. You might be shocked to learn how many bands (local or national) you go to see track everything from keyboard parts to harmonies, bass lines...even lead vocals. When you hear perfect harmonies every time, horn sections out of thin air or synth solos coming from a stage where there ain't no keyboard in sight, well, there's your first hint you're not listening to a band that's all "live"! It doesn't mean that there aren't talented musicians in the midst or that there's any harm in the entertainment they're providing. When full-time bands are playing many shows a week, tracking ball-busting vocal parts can really help save musicians' voices. Heck, from the business side of it, they can earn quite a bit more by rolling city to city with a minidisk player assuring themselves of a great performance every time. But crowds hardly know what's really going on and they're naturally thinking it's live. We'd like to think that a lotta people don't wanna hear prerecorded tracks when they come to see a LIVE band. So TWC set out to do something that has never been done in the world: to play hip hop anthems that have never before been played live and to try to be as good as a computer. That ain't no walk in tha park, G. We spend countless hours creating every sound for every song. Each song has it's own drum kit that we create from scratch, matching the original sounds. Each keyboard sound for each song is made from scratch. Harmonies, effects, noises, scratching...it's all created, tweaked and rehearsed till our fingers bleed or till Woodsy's too stoned to rehearse, whichever comes first. So to sum up, the day TWC starts lip-syncing or using pre-recorded tracks is the day I'll let you take my gold chains off my neck to bitch slap me silly. To the cute little thang at Crobar, it ain't your fault. You've been Milly Vanilli'ed and Ashely Simpsoned to death. I suppose you gots every right to ask. "I got nuthin' but love for ya baby." C Posted 8/30 Subject: "I've been through the desert on a Fly Girl with no name" We've all seen stuff with buttass stupid names. Fifth Third Bank has got to be the worst of all time. Them crackheads should flat-out be arrested for trying to push that shit on us. Ruth's Chris Steakhouse is another one that rolls off the tongue like fly paper. So you can imagine how we didn't wanna botch naming our latest Fly Girl. Steeped in tradition, the process starts with lobbin' it out to y'all first and see what you're feelin'. Last time we did this, you gave us "Honeycomb". But that sweet thang just picked up and moved her bee hive to London to get her master's in dance. She gone for a while. For the last couple months, we've been workin' in this little rocket who until now, has gone nameless. We pitched it to you and got shitloads of possible names but there wasn't one that knocked us on our ass. Then, in the green room at Daddios, the planet's aligned and we started feelin' it. Homies, we give you Juicebox. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 6/29 Subject: Which Old Skool hip hop jam
should the Crew do next? Posted 6/21/06 Subject: I stand corrected!
Mood: Regulated. Daaaoomn, it's been a while. I WILL get to a blog entry that covers some of the recent highlights and lowlights over the last couple months, but I had get this one out there right away: I just sent out an email and a bulletin about our upcoming "XL Show" at Joe's this Saturday night. And in that message, I lobbed in a lyric which I said came from Biggie Smalls ("Honey check it...Tell your friends, to get with my friends, and we can beee friends. Sheeet we can do this ev'ry weekend aight? That aight wit chu?") Over 6000 homies received that message but only ONE called me out. That line wasn't from Biggie. That was Puff SAYING it to Biggie -- at the end of Big Poppa. I'm either going with y'all dih'n't read it or you did, and you let it slide. Cuz I can't go on living thinking that only one G in our giant posse knew I botched the quote. And to the dime who called me out? Jen Zalatel, a writer for The Heckler and salutatorian of all things old skool...got nuthin' but love for ya baby. That just put us one step closer to doin' a Bone Thugs tune in your homeytown's honor. Thanks for keepin' me in check! "Keep bangin'" C ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 4/15/06: Subject: All Things Vegas Vegas. Shit, where do we begin. OK. For the past several months, Bud Light has been holding Rock, Paper, Scissors competitions in bars across the country. Yes, the schoolyard game. Local winners moved on to regional competitions and 500 winners along with their guests were flown to Vegas for the national finals last weekend to compete for a $50,000 grand prize. Too White Crew played the welcome party for this most ridiculous and brilliant event. But it almost didn't happen. Because of all the violence at hip hop shows in Vegas and elsewhere, there has recently been a "ban" on hip hop concerts in Las Vegas. Dunno how this has slipped under the radar of the press, but it's real. To what extent that ban is enforced is clearly subject to the gaming commission's discretion -- but when we heard that Snoop's private party performance for a beer company was canceled at the Rio the previous weekend, we didn't get the warm fuzzies. Well, we too musta slipped under the radar -- or maybe we just didn't qualify as a violence risk and the show went off without a hitch. Oh and did it go off. But we gotta back up a minute. About a week before we left, we got a call from some TV producers who wanted Too White Crew to write a theme song for the USARPS League (that's USA Rock Paper Scissors) and perform it live at the Luxor as part of a music video they'd make for the song. Seriously. I mean that there is such a league -- not that they aksed TWC to write a song. Anyway, we basically wrote, produced and recorded the song inside of 48 hours of performing it live with cameras rolling. The tune is up on our MySpace, and the lyrics are up as well, so you can flow along wit us. We're hoping the video will be released at the same time as the A&E special in June, but that's out of our hands. So eleven of us rolled out to Vegas last Thursday -- 6 band members, our Fly Girls Tasty K & D-train, DJ Strike, our sound engineer Ethanized and Tooch, our muscle. Our Vegas agent G-man from Artasight Productions also made the trek with us and gave us the red carpet treatment. We had sick cribs at the Luxor and hookups everywhere. All the pics from these events will be posted soon at toowhitecrew.com, but we'll link out a few here. So let's get this party started. The pool at the Luxor was SHUT DOWN Thursday afternoon to git ready for the Friday night smackdown with TWC. It was that big. We started before the sun went down and as soon as it got dark, it came unglued. People came from all over the country to party like they were going to the chair, and they did. Budweiser's Real Men of Genius were there, reading new RPS-related commercials live. A&E cameras rolled all night long. C-note got interviewed for the show and provided some (hopefully) comedic footage about the importance of RPS in the formative years of C-note's hard knock life. After the show, G-man scored us an all-night limo and Strike got us a dopeass table at Studio 54. Throughout the weekend, the Las Vegas go go dancers were repeatedly shown that they needed to stay in the shallow end when up against TWC's Fly Girls. They just can't step to Tasty K & D-train. To put an exclamation point on that, a couple of D-train's ribs were hurting and were actually stickin' out a little on Sunday. None of us are doctors or nuthin', but we all agreed that D-train was jackin' it so hard Saturday night at Rain that we think she snapped a couple ribs right out of her cage. Or maybe it happened at the Spearmint Rhino, where the girls were throwin' down so hard that management aksed them to sit down because the strippers were tipping THEM. Sunday was the RPS contest at Mandalay Bay's House of Blues. 500 "athletes" competing for a $50,000 grand prize and the title of the USARPS 2006 Champion -- a distinct honor indeed. In the bylaws of the league, they recommend athletes were protective head gear. As if. So the costumes were nuts. The miniature boxing ring on stage (used for the round of 16 through the finals) was nuts. The professional referrees...the coaches & trainers, wiping sweat off their athlet in between throws...poor sportsmanship, ring girls, penalties, illegal throws, discussions of strategy -- complete insanity. A sober bystander would surely think Earth has come off its axis. It'll all be on A&E in June. In the end, the national champion was crowned -- walkin' away with fitty g's, the runner-up got five large and the winner of the "world's longest Roshambo match" (500 throws) won a new car. Dave Attell (from the show Insomniac) hosted the gig and even The Chop (King of Cars) got in on the announcing. We left battered, tragically hung over like this dude and with a fistful of cash from the Luxor's luckiest blackjack table. We also got a nice little stack o' bidness cards for us to figure out where the Crew is throwin' down next in Vegas. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 3/30/06: Subject: Iowa's got some funky shit goin' on. From the "Things to Know About Iowa" files... First of all, there's no gettin' past the Iowa 80 truckstop ("world's largest") without stopping. Of all the the odd and disturbing things you can buy there, the can of Monkey Butt and the Travel John win big. They win so big, they've got 'em right by the door so you can't miss 'em -- even if you don't have monkey butt or need to piss in a zip lock. Then there's the newest strip club in Cedar Rapids called the Lumberyard. Check it -- EVERYone goes there in the CR. When all the 2AM bars close, all roads lead to the Lumberyard. Even if you don't like strip clubs, you'll find yourself in a car headed there cuz that's the law. So after a trip to the liquor store, (it's BYOB), after the country roads, after you reach the end of civilization...in the back of an industrial park, BAM -- neon lights and birthday suits. You can hang -- literally and figuratively or get in the thick of the shit to blow your wad...of cash. Time it right (or wrong depending on your constitution) and you'll be there for all the porn DVD giveaways. Oh yeah, and we played at Muddy's too BTW. Props to DJ Bryan Lee who again opened our show and kept it jumpin' in between sets. It was our rowdiest crowd to date so we appreciate all the love y'all dish up when we bomb it. From what we heard when Will Smith came on, looks like "Parents Just Don't Understand" just got bumped up on TWC's "To Do" list! We'll see you May 13th! ____________________________________________________________________________________________________ Posted 2/28/06: Subject: St. Pattie's Day "Behind the Music" with C-note This entry is about some behind the scenes stuff that we hope you'll find kinda amusing -- at least it was to me. St. Pattie's Day was stoopid fun. It started with Friday's load-in at Shenannigan's which is where we laid it down on the 17th. If y'all don't know, Shenannigan's is located in Chicago's eye of the storm. It's on Division St. -- or as outta towners know it, "Rush Street" -- a strip of bars that either gives a rush or a rash, depending on how you roll. Even Lincoln Park Trixies who might otherwise dry heave at the thought of being near Chicago's Viagra Triangle, know that on St. Patrick's Day, all bets are off. They don't even need to tell their friends they lost a bet. Like a trip to the D.M.V., everyone's the same on St. Pattie's Day in the Chi. And the shit starts early. 10AM the heavies come out usually going the distance, with a couple of purges along the way to keep themselves fresh. We had to get our gear loaded in by like noon or we faced an obstacle course of wobbly humans holding cups of green beer with gravitational instincts for musical equipment. And that would suck -- kinda like how we don't have full-time roadies sucks. So we did our setup thing and pulled the rip cord to get us out of the Gold Coast before the real shit hit the fan. When we "got back" (git it?) to the bar around 7:00, the line was almost to Five Faces (a professional reference to benefit only those who mainline gyros at the end of their Division Street stints). Part of me would like to say we caused that line, but that would be a little bit of a stretch. Truth be told, the bar coulda had someone on stage preaching from the Koran and they'd have still needed ropes out front. Even those allergic to alcohol go out and get blind drunk on St. Pattie's Day. That said, yeah, our peeps were there, but I ain't gonna lie, so were a few hundred people with a map in their car or a room key in their pocket. Q101 was in effect, with Sherman starting a live broadcast at 7:00. BTW, BIG UPPS to Q101 for having Too White Crew as the band for their St. Patrick's Day throwdown! I mean, with Q101's motto being "All Things Alternative", TWC fits that description about as much as a forty fits a koozie. But itsalllll good. A party's a party. Q101 knows it, TWC knows it. And dammit, we'd like to think we pour gasoline on them. Q101 rocks, period the end. We chilled next door, upstairs in some office-turned-makeshift-green-room. It had a stock bar "hidden" inside a filing cabinet. It was an instant hit. I didn't even want a Jack & Coke, but how could I pass up a drink from the "A-L" drawer? In all the excitement, I didn't even consider how this would mix with the upcoming forties. Fuck it, it's Green Day. It's all comin' back up later anyway, ain't it? And speaking of green, Woodsy & the Rev were M.I.A. as part of their pre-game date with the hitter box. At 8:00, we rode. And it was a hell of a ride. We dropped two hours of rewind, then packed up our gear and started our own self-destructive path. After all, it ain't easy peein' green, and we were starting to fall behind. Thanks Chi-town for making Shenannigan's the place to be Friday night. We're sorry for all y'all out there that couldn't get in. All's we can say is we warned ya! Much love to Jules (so did he or dih'n't he?) who flew in from Cali, the crew who drove in from Grand Rapids, the 815 crew, Peoria (ooh la la, those Crusens sisters), B-town, the other familiar faces and all the new ones who are now all up in our MySpace. Two side notes to the whole affair: Since you've made it this far, we'll dip into the "Completely Useless Information" files. Shor T has this thing about all of us putting shit on her turntables at the end of the night when we're all packing up. She couldn't be any more in the right, and it has sorta become a source of post-show comedy. She can't tear down her gear when she's gotta play maid to all of us children who make a mess after a show. The thing is, she's got the only flat surface on the whole stage, so we tend to dump stuff there (mics, sweat rags, dead batteries...) while we run around after the shows, goofin' on people, doin' shots, whatevuh. Well, we stooped to a new low Friday night and she decided to capture it on film as a reminder to us all. The least we could do is share it as sort of a public cry for help, like how a jilted chick tells all her friends about what an asshole her ex is to make sure her friends don't let her get near him. So is this, to all of you, about us...and Shor T's turntable table. Friends don't let friends dump junk. Shor T thanks you. One more thing. Some of you might have noticed I was a little less "Jump, Jump" on stage Friday night. You weren't seeing things. At the risk of oversharing (stay tuned for a happy ending), I wrenched my back earlier in the week -- all stemming from a car wreck back in college. And once every couple years, it decides to say, "Whadup C? Miss me bitch? How 'bout stayin' in bed for a week or two?" I couldn't even walk Friday, but I knew SOMEHOW the shit HAD to go down Friday night. So I consulted a handful of really smart people with complicated suffixes on their names who warned me to not even THINK about performing Friday. But what kinda G would cancel a show cuz of a BACK injury? As Tone once said to Cali, "I don't think so". The doc also said to drink lots of fluids. Well, I did. Those damn Jack & Cokes -- yeah, it became plural...and a couple forties later, (did I mention the pain killers?), I didn't know I even HAD a back let alone one that wasn't workin' right. Hell, I poisoned that injury right into submission. But the real satisfaction came when I went back to the doctor's office Saturday and the doc asked if I went through with the performance. I told him I did. He asked how I got through it and I told him I partied my balls off and ever since then I've been feeling great. At that point, I pretty much picked up my stuff and left. Let that be a lesson to us all. In times of adversity, tap the bottle and twist the cap. Thanks for playin' along. C ____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Posted 2/28/06: Subject: Must see MTV Actually, it's not MTV -- it's VH1, but that dih'n't pop, so, screw it. We lied. So the show is called "VH1 Goes Inside Yo! MTV Raps". And y'all gotta TiVo that beeotch. It takes you back and drops your ass right back in the early 90's when all the music that TWC covers was hot. Hit the above link and it'll take you to the next time it's showing. If you're really rotting your brain and catch a little Flavor of Love, watch for Flav flossin' C-note's giant silver clock that C-note gave him last December when Flav came to the Chi. In Flav's words, "I'm gonna wear the shit out of this clock. You gonna see this ohn da Teeee Veeeee and in da Mooo-veees..." ____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Posted 2/23/06: Subject: Recap of the 708 & the 309 This weekend started with our second appearance at the south side's hell-raisin' Bourbon St. We lobbed in DJ Strike and our Fly Girls M80 & Tasty K to amp up the night. Dunno what did it but the levy broke and the 708 represented like y'all were goin' to the chair. It only gets uglier from here, so we hope you'll spread the wuuuurd and mount up on March 23rd. Speaking of levies, we have to give shout outs to two homegirls who were more wasted than a FEMA trailer in Arkansas. And much love to our Kristi & Kimmy, who made the trek from the moon to git there. But ladies, we can do without pics like this one. Friday night at Crusens in Peoria was one hot mess. Power 92 was in all up in it -- Big D, Garfield, Steph, Gusto, Q -- sheeet, why dih'n't ya just bring some gear and broadcast that bitch live?! The TWC "Booty Club" stickers (mad props to Jeff Rosiak!) were introduced and applied to several new members. Our hands are still sore from smackin' all that asssssss! P-town, when Too White Crew rolls down on 3/31, the pinch at the door might go up a buck, but it's only cuz we're thinkin' it might be time to bring our Fly Girls to P-town to blow it up with us, and if we do, they gots ta git paaaaid! Hope that's cool, 309. It'll be like In Living Color alllll over again, live and in your grill. Until then, as Biggie once said... "Tell your friends, to get with my friends. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Posted 2/14/06: Subject: Recent shitstorms We rolled out to Daddios in Bloomington on the 3rd and faceplanted into a record crowd. [He tips his Kangol] We brought our Fly Girls M80 and Honeycomb there for the first time, who were apparently well liked by both the fellas and lay-dees so y'all just might see more of them. It was Brian's b-day so we let him spit a little Cypress Hill on the mic. And since Professor Milk is in Costa Rica until the our show on the 23rd, we had to give you a Countafit. On the 4th we bombed Cedar Rapids, IA -- again to a record crowd. Hell yeah. Much love to the 319 for helping us tear the roof off. DJ Bryan Lee threw it down (and then threw it up around 5AM but that's another story -- Ohhhhhh!) And what's with that new titty bar y'all gots in town? It's like a mirage in the middle of an industrial park. "Not that there's anything wrong with it." Then there was last Thursday, the 9th at Duffy's. There have been a lot of tunes that praise Old English, but none that quite capture the essence of twenty-something supervixens whose inhibitions are stripped clean from that golden malt liquor. Sounds like a hit in the making. Anyway, those pics will be up soon at toowhitecrew.com. They're worth peeping. Someone, please keep us away from Yakzee's after Duffy's shows. Prolly should stay away from La Bamba Too. The employees really dih'n't much care for us beatboxing and flowing our remix of Big Poppa -- "I love it when you smell like La Bam-ba. Throw yo' handz in tha aiya, if you wants some gardeniera." That shit just ain't right. ____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Posted 2/9/06 Subject: Vote for TWC on nitelife.org! Posted: 2/1/2006 Subj:The Blue Iguana Madhouse So, if you were at the Blue Iguana Saturday night, then you know why I'm rockin' a shit-eatin' grin right now. Damn that was stupid fun. Anything kickin' out that much energy usually gets regulated by the FDA. But the only regulatin' that went down was by the 600 who "packed it up, packed it in." Some shout outs -- Knyte, congrats on your new Jay Oh Bee; Drew, happy 30th beeotch; Laura, how could I forget you? ...your name is still inked on my hand; Kristen, you floss quite possibly the greatest ass in the history of asses. Sorry to hear about those who couldn't get in when the place maxed out. Lines suck. Lines in the rain are tragic. And, yeah, the Iguana needed to get waaaay more forties...along with more bartenders! But, hey, at least we didn't blow the power this time! Thanks Chicago for throwing down with us! Posted: 1/14/06 Subj: Off the chizzain in the 309 Hope you'll getchasssss our to McGee's this Thursday if you're
in tha Chi! Posted: 1/2/06 Subject: Weekend Update Posted 12/03/05 Subj: South SIIIIIIIIDE! _____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Posted: 11/25/05 Subj: PLAYBOYEEEEE! _____________________________________________________________________________________________________
It's been three years comin', but Too White Crew is finally set
to drop old skool lyrical bombs on the west coast! We're playing
the Playboy Mansion Friday, November 18th and we've got a showcase
lined up at The Gig on Melrose for this Saturday. Check out our
"shows" link (above) to get the 411 on our first trip
to the west coast! Sunday the Crew went to Blarney Island, where the
Modern Day Romeos was
pouring gasoline all over this fire. If y'all ain't ever been to
Blarney Island, check it: It really IS an island. The only way to
get there is by ferry.
And this is the crime
scene as we approached. From there it just got ugly.
And uglier.
And naughty.
And naughtier.
All the pics will be up soon. They're def worth comin' back to!
Bookmark this beeeeeottttchhhh |
