Too White Crew -- All live hip hop tribute band.

It's time to break it down. This is mostly for those of you who haven't been to Bourbon St. cuz those of you who have, know what's about to happen on NYE.

Bourbon Street is like no other bar you've ever seen. It's more like an entertainment farm, where first timers go from room to room, saying "Oh look, it's a __________". Bourbon Street is what happens when a former 55,000 sq. ft. Handy Andy meets a party-minded G with deep pockets.

For starters, you're in the south burbs yo, so if you're standing by the front door you could swing a jet stream and not hit another bar with valet service, let alone a free one (at least on NYE anyway). Then you get in and see a mirage -- a family restaurant, which is kinda like walking into a head shop and seeing a nursery. Hi how are ya. But wait, that's not all. Look left. Sports bar. Veer right -- BAM, the first of two live music stages. This is where The Hat Guys will be performing. Next, go straight, and you're in a dance club, complete with lead-weighted martini glasses to keep them from thumping off the tables. Look up -- VIP room for all the OG Macks and wannabe playas. Turn right, 1000+ capacity live music room. That's where Hairbanger's will light the match at 10:00. We get all silly in that same room at midnight. (Attention smokers!) Ask someone where north is, and head there. Now you're in the oxygen free, somewhat covered patio. Blaze up all you want -- don't cost nuthin', 'cept a few minutes off your life. Repeat this cycle until 3:00AM or until the wheels fall off.

Doors are at 8PM. This is when you set up camp, get your game face on and pray. The drink package goes from 10P-3AM. That's not a typo. 3:00 AM. The drink package includes domestic & imported bottles, wine, TOP SHELF liquor (no shots) and Whiplash Energy Drinks. You won't have to kiss your loved ones goodbye before you head to the bar for drinks either. They've got gobs of bars. There's a also dinner buffet AND a breakfast buffet that rolls out at 1AM keep you from flatlining.

$80 per person
$100 after 6pm on NYE
CLICK HERE FOR TICKETS

Hotel Package:
$320 per couple includes 2 tickets, a room for two, transportation to and from 115 Bourbon Street, a late morning checkout and a(nother) breakfast.

Call one of these hotels and ask for the 115 Bourbon Street NYE Package:

Baymont Inn ("The Baymizzle")
12801 S. Cicero
Alsip, IL 60803
708-597-3900

Hampton Inn (Like the Hamptons, but without any of that really nice stuff)
13330 Cicero
Midlothian, IL 60445
708-597-3330

Hope to ring in '09 with all y'all big hittas! :)

Too White Crew
Ringing in NYE...and a little ringing in your ears.

P.S. Watch for a special TWC / HBB treat at midnight!

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Cuz Crusens sucks that damn life out of us, that's why -- and we're playing there tomorrow night. Honestly, it's becoming a fucking liability to play that place. We need a couple days before a Crusens show to physically and mentally prepare -- and a couple days after to effectively reconnect all the synapses in our brains that fall apart from the 1-2 punch that Crusens and Carbon use to pummel them into submission.

Collectively, we have probably shortened our lives 10 years from the liver and brain damage caused from three years of playing that massive hellhole. We kinda wish Crusens would just go away...go under -- SOMEthin, and all they do is keep sinking more damn money into it and making it nicer. Fuck that noise.

I like how they expanded the parking lot a while back. Oh yeah, that's a good idea. Let's load 'em up and make room for 500, one-ton swerving missiles on the road after our shows. What the hell were they thinking? Playa please.

Then there's the stupidass drink specials. It's sofa king cheap to get loaded there that y'all can scrape together enough change from checking phone booths to blow a .2. When you make something too cheap, no one wants it anymore. Duh. Plus you can't leave this sort of thing unpoliced. You know what happens to gold fish when you let them eat too much? They're left with no choice but to eat until they blow up and die.

Is that what you want?

KISS-FM? You're far from innocent in this whole fucking mess. Like we need constant on-air plugs and the hype of having your whole staff there, egging this shit on? Stay the fuck home. Things could go back to normal if you'd just leave us alone.

One more thing – Big Daddy, isn't there somewhere else you can book your Miller Girls on the nights we play? Having hot tricks in impossibly small gitups passing out free shit all night is not our idea of a good time. We don't need you walkin' through the joint like an upper case G, passing out a case of free beer either. Not cool dude. We have a big enough mess on our hands.

Y'all can suck it – Stephen, Wayne, Big D, Miller and the whole crackhead staff of KISS-FM. We'll see you tomorrow night. And this time, you can all split the fucking hospital bills.

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Alright party people, let's test your skillz! The fall semester is nigh, so let's see how much the summatime madness softened your brain by serving up our Back to Skool Refresher Course. Send an email to toowhitecrew@aol.com (DO NOT COMMENT YOUR ANSWERS, DUH!) with your completed exam and we'll see who's the dopest of them all. First person to score 100 gets a TWC "Got Back?" shirt. True story. And you get mad bragging rights too, which is worth waaaay more than a shirt.

Oh yeah, and we're playing at Bourbon Street in Merrionette Park TONIGHT (Thurs. 9/4) and TOMORROW (Fri. 9/5) at Austin's in Libertyville.

As Slick Rick once said after he tucked y'all in -- "Heeeere we go":

1) A Family Called Quest -- True or False
2) In which fast food restaurant's bathroom did the Humpty get busy?
3) Who politely asks to clear their throat... and hopes you don't mind?
4) This rapper's name is sometimes sprayed on the faces of chumps who
think they gonna git some from a lady who ain't havin' it. (spelling counts)
5) Who came to get down and wants to "rock right now"?
6) Name three rappers whose names are indicative of their girth
7) Biz Markie's "friend" was from which nation?
8) Flavor Flav is to a clock as Kriss Kross is to _______________.
9) How tall does Skee-Lo wish he was?
10) How many does Luniz have on it?
11) What are the two things that Bell Biv Devoe says you should never trust?
12) How many degrees was Sadie at when Snoop kindly told her to get up?
13) Paper Boy is cautious of hoe's so what does he wear?
14) What did Warren G say to the brutha just after his rings and Rolex got jacked?
15) Match the following G's to the cars they've flossed:

Vanilla Ice
Puff Daddy
Notorious BIG
Eazy E
The Sugar Hill Gang
Skee-Lo

A Six Fo'
A Rover, a GS300 AND a drop-top BMW
A Mustang
A hatchback
"C to the A to the DDY"
A Lincoln Continental and a Cadillac (...with a sunroof)

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Last time we all drove home from central Illinoize, the subject came up and we're throwin' it out there on the table. Pound for pound, who can out drink who -- Bloomington or Peoria? With this looming question, we bring you...The 309 Drinking Olympics.

This weekend, we are holding two heats -- Friday, 8/15 at Daddios and Saturday, 8/16 at Crusens -- from which a gold medalist will emerge. Using a sophisticated series of algorithms involving bar inventory, number of athletes, gender & age analyses, bar ring and photo finish, we will be able to announce the winner Sunday evening with pinpoint accuracy.

Both Bloomington and Peoria have state-of-the-art training facilities and revered histories in the sport. For that we tip our Kangols. But head-to-head, who will come out on top? The data will be gathered between the hours of 9PM and 1:30AM on both nights. Be sure to get some sleep, eat smart and stretch before you perform.

Note: There have been a lot of inquiries about whether the Peoria Miller Girls will be allowed to compete. We understand that their training methods are shrouded in controversy. This concern is currently under review by the Board.

We hope you all fulfill your Olympic dreams this weekend!

Too White Crew
Just Crew It.

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7/17/08 Subj: TWC Annual Haiku Contest

Too White Crew’s Annual Haiku Contest!

It's that time of year! Too White Crew's summer haiku contest -- the time to sharpen your pencil and pen your thoughts in the old skool 5-7-5 format, for all Too White Crewdom to enjoy. Will you flow about your grill? TWC? Dubs? Scrubs? Mad Dog? Use your imagination and submit your entry for a chance to win your very own "Got Back?" shirt! Reply with your entries right huuuuur! We're gonna pick a winner and send them our extra fly shirt. Make it good party people and come creep our shows this weekend!

847 -- This Friday, 7/18 @ the John Barleycorn in Schaumburg -- 10:00
Here's a place that's so down with O.P.P. that it's rumored you get a refund if you go home alone. Seriously, if you single, you won't be Friday night. The Barleycorn is like a hook-up factory featuring a genetically-engineered crowd that we ain't nevuh seen the likes of in the burbs. Our sets are short so the DJ has time to spin summa them really filthy bump n' grind new school beats that makes people do things ya ain't supposta do in public.
Endless sea of bricks
A taste of City within
The Bundy's hometown

773 -- This Saturday 7/19 @ Summer on Southport in Wrigleyville -- 8-10PM
We're at the South stage (Southport & Waveland), which history has proven to be the eye of the storm. This festival is all growed up now and it's one of the big boys. The lineup is so stacked it needs underwire. Bounce over to Star Events to see the complete list of musical artillery.
Sun beats like a drum
The spills glisten down your leg
Wear your crummy shoes

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5/19/08 Subj: Suppose we can't blame her...

So we ran into some fine lil thang who saw us for the first time at Mayfest last Saturday and she said, "Sooooo, those tracks you guys play to...just how much of what you're doing is actually live?"

I guess it's that time again. Time to shake our heads that we haven't preached our message enough...time to share that we use no tracks, no prerecorded vocals or music, no loops, no "guide vocals"... nuthin. Our drummer doesn't even play to a click track. If it were any more live, it would have a heartbeat. That DOES make us the only band ever to do what we do, and that includes the original artists. That statement comes with no disrespect, cuz of course without the original artists, there would be no Too White Crew! But what we do is definitely fresh and unprecedented.

Even after I explained it, she pretty much thought I was bullshitting her and kept rephrasing her question as if my answer was allowing me some sort of loophole.

Given how many bands out there DO play to tracks, it's almost expected that people might think we track shit too -- especially given how odd it is to hear live hip hop. Five years into TWC, we're still the only band trying to replicate old skool joints live, so it shouldn't be a surprise to hear this from people. But we DON'T track and we WON'T play to tracks -- ever. If we can't do it live, we shouldn't be doing it.

So Jenny from the Chi, we ain't mad atcha. We'll try to fuck up more so you'll KNOW it's live. :)

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Posted 4/2/08 Subject: What's crackalackin'

It's been a while since we've posted stuff, so "Hey you, what's that sound, everybody look what's goin' down":

CHEW ON THIS
Our new Fly Girl's name is Bubble Yumm, so big ups to Dre who came up with the winning name.

IT'S OFFICIAL
TWC recently won nitelife.org's "Best Hip Hop Group" in their 12th annual "Best of the Burbs" contest. Not really sure what kinda weight that carries but it's always cool to win shit, especially when the site literally had millions of hits during the voting period.

STOP! HAMMERTIME.
We've added plenty of new shit to the show lately -- U Can't Touch This, Biggie's Juicy and a TLC medley with Scrubs, Creep and Ain't Too Proud to Beg. Watch for some ABC comin' straaaight atcha soon too! So if y'all ain't given us love lately, creep a show!

WHAT ABOUT BOB?
It's not Bill Murray most famous movie, but he's prolly our most famous guest at a TWC show...other than maybe Hugh Hefner, but we played at his crib so that kinda don't count. B-Mur showed up at our Cubby Bear show last Saturday and even got on stage to sing a few tunes with our half-time band , the Del Crustaceans, featuring Sun Times sports reporter Rick Telander. It was all part of a huge throwdown called "The 100th Annual Next Year Day" -- celebrating 100 years of the Cubs' inability to win the World Series. One hell of a night, yo.
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Tuesday March 04 2008 Subject: Look kids! It’s another "Name Our Fly Girl" contest!

Our newest Fly Girl has been bouncin' her booty for the past month and now it's time to give her a name. In keeping with tradition, y'all get a chance to name her. Homeboys, check it -- this is your opportunity to be able to look up that fine thaaang while she's jackin' it on stage and mouth the words, "I naaaaamed you". We ain't lady-hatin' here -- you're all in on this too, but we think the fellas will have an extra special feeling if one of them wins it.

Get creative party people! Think random and sexy! Light up and free associate, bitchezzzz!

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We have sooooo been feelin' the love! We'd love to come to all your cities (and countries) but we've only got one calendar and we ain't livin' the van life, so it takes a lot to get the Crew to hit up distant lands. BUT, we do have Texas inked for April and we're looking to get back to So Cal hopefully in June.

Let us know if you know of a dopeass party, fest, event or club that TWC needs to bomb. Even five years later, there still ain't no otha band that do what we do, so we'll bring a scoop of our fresh flava to your hood if we can!

Oh yeah, San Diego party people... Your emails and messages are def not gettin' brushed off. We're workin' on it! Typhoon Saloon is on our radar, along with a couple other events and clubs up through the O.C. and L.A. Like C&C Music Factory once flowed, "Chill babybaby, chill babybaby, wait!"

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Nitelife.org is having their 12th annual "Best of the Burbs" contest and Too White Crew is nominated for both "Best Hip Hop Band" and "Best Dance Band", so we're aksin' everyone to lob in a vote for us!

The whole thing is kinda silly and we prolly shouldn't give a shit, but there IS a mild amount of bragging rights associated with it, and, well, who doesn't wanna win stuff? Plus, last year, thousands of people visited the site every day, so any press is good press yo. I'm not even sure I'd wanna be the "Best Dance Band" but fuck it, a win's a win. "Best Hip Hop" band? Out of principle, I'd like to walk away with that one so we'd appreciate the love.

To vote, you gotta do the online equivalent of pissing in a cup -- cough up a little info, but it's pretty painless AND you won't have to walk around an office with a warm cup of your own piss, so that's pretty cool.

If you're REALLY fuckin' bored, you can vote once a day, every day, through March 15th. We'd tohhhtally give you a reacharound for that too. There's a shitload of stuff to vote for in case you wanna burn up some bandwith.

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Posted Wednesday January 23 2008 Subject: It’s comin’! "The Booty Shake World Series!"

If you have ever won a TWC Booty Shake Contest, you're in. If you haven't, start booty poppin' and win one before we announce the World Series location and date.

The Booty Shake Champion of the World will get the below title belt for one year. (Yes, it's a real championship belt.) Then they have to come back to defend the title at next year's World Series.

Each contestant gets free admission for themselves and a guest. That's part of the award for being so fly. Speaking of fly, whether your previous TWC Booty Shake victory was in Chicago, L.A., Vegas -- we know you'll wanna fly in for this. If you win it all, we'll fly you in next year to defend your title.

The winner will be chosen by a combination of audience applause and the scoring from our esteemed judges panel.

It's about time that the greatest booty shakers of the world unite on stage and battle it out for the world title.

Stay tuned...
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Posted Wednesday January 23 2008 Subject: Hip hop classics depicted in charts and graphs

In an effort to appeal to TWC fans who have academic suffixes attached to their names, we would like to pass along these charts and graphs to illustrate the messages of some of our favorite old skool jams... Check it out here...

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Gotta give out props to this G from P-town. We've all lost our shit in a cab before and here's a one-in-a-million story of a cab driver who needs to be inducted into the Cabbie Hall of Fame. Check it:

It's 4AM and some change. We're rollin' deep in Peoriyo after our show Friday and we have a cab take us from SOP's back to Crusens so we can grab booze out of my ride to take back to the HOEtell. We're completely sideways by now. At some point earlier in the night, I decided it would be a good idea to take my car key off the ring. The force that pulls valuables away from humans and glues them to cab seats was in full effect and smelled my loose key.

I dih'n't realize I lost my key until we took another cab back to Crusens Saturday afternoon. That's when the real shit went down. There was a note on my ride from the cab driver with his moby on it. He not only had my key but he also drove it back to Crusens for me. HEEEEALL YEAH. Homeboy coulda had himself an '08 Lex and everything in it, but it did the right thang. We hooked him up and all, but man that's a solid.

After checking out the pics from our camera, looks like we had a party in his cab and we actually have a pic of the G, so here he is, gettin' a lil' love from Jakpot. If you're from the P and you know him, please give him props. A waitress from Crusens said he returned her phone once too, so this ain't the only time he's done good.

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Posted Wednesday, November 28, 2007 Subject: SIU! -- We forgot all about cha!

We were just doin' some housecleaning and realized we never posted the pics from our SIU shitstorm last Spring. We normally wouldn't bother bloggin' about it this much after the fact, but the pics brought back some great memories. The pics are up right huuuuur.

1) The dude who crashed his SUV into a light pole cuz he was checkin' out the Girls Gone Wild trailer in the parking lot. Seriously, there wasn't a single car in the lot, and this G had to find a target that's less than a foot in diameter. As if this Bottom Ten Percentile wasn't already a Darwin Award candidate, his car wouldn't start so he had to wait for the tow truck...and cops to come, at which point he also got ticketed and publicly stoned by everyone who witnessed the 45 minute hot mess.

4) I57, exit 103. All y'all Salukies prolly don't find it funny, but when you're seeing it for the first time, an exit sign with an arrow that says "Dix" is pretty damn funny. Especially when ya got a car full a' Fly Girls who think like dudes. It's funny just like how that insanely large cross on I 57 AIN'T. If that don't put the fear of SUH'in' inside you, nuthin' will.

5) The afta parties. Can't remember what them apartments were called behind Copper Dragon, but it became obvious pretty fast that you shouldn't bother living in that complex if you have any interest in sleep, your health or your education. Top highlight: one apartment's bathroom was so foul that C went to find out who lived there -- for no other reason than to congratulate the dude for just straight up not giving a fuck. We figured the dude wouldn't be hard to spot. He's the guy with no body hair. We knew this because hair clippings caked every surface in the bathroom. After asking pretty much everyone in that apt, we come to learn NO ONE had any idea who lived there. So that means not only was the dude NOT at his own party, but he also didn't know ANYONE at his own party. Now that's a fuckin' baller. Bald, slippery, don't give a fuck, M.I.A.-at-5AM baller.

7) Flashing truckers. Even more fun when you realize they radio all the other trucks in the area, turning your ride into semi bait for some very thirsty truckers.

8) Booty Shake contest winners who change into their prize right thuuuur on stage. We're not talkin' slopping our "Got Back?" shirt over THEIR shirt. Hell naw. They gots a much better idea.

9) A message to the force that permanently separates people from their cell phones: "TAKE THIS, BITCH." The scene: It's 6AM and we just drove to the HO-tel from the bar after a lengthy feeding/melee at the T-bell drive in. Total distance, ~3 miles, including potholes, speed bumps, turns and other sure-fire obstacles designed to dislodge a cell phone that's sitting on top of the attached U-Haul's wheel well. That's right. Jakpot's phone made it awwl the way home. You can make us all drop our phones in a pisser, rip them away from us in taxis and bars but you can't make one fall off a tiny, flat surface going more than 30 miles an hour?! SUCK IT!

So whoomp there it is. For various reasons, we prolly ain't comin' around again anytime soon, but daaaomn, THAT was a good time! You might find us pop up in the StL though!

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It only took us FIVE F'IN YEARS but it's here -- and it's just in time for the holla, holla, holladays. Go to www.toowhite crew.com and click on the "merch" tab found on our graffiti wall. Pick the shirt style, the color, the size and the slogan, cough up some scratch and it'll be sent to you. That simple. Hats and other shizzle will be added soon. For clarification, "soon" in TWC time is sometime before the next icon appears in the below "evolution of man" diagram.

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Posted 11/26/07 Subject: This just in -- Our NYE show will be sold out soon!

We just got wuuurd that our NYE show at the Drake Hotel in Chicago with Chicago-Scene.com will be sold out faster than in any previous year. Looks like they'll be gone by early December. If you wanna ring it in with us, here's the page with all the details...

http://chicago-scene.com/new-years-eve-chicago.htm

Now in it's 8th year, AOL ranked this party #3 on the list of best NYE parties in the USA!

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Posted 10/31/07 Subject: TOO WHITE CREW'S HUGE NYE SHOW ANNOUNCED!

Last year, we were on ABC TV. This year we're playing one of AOL'S "Top 10 New Year's Eve Parties in the USA"!

TWC is the featured act for Chicago-Scene.com's 8th annual party at the world famous Drake Hotel in downtown Chicago. This party is so hot that it not only sells out every year, but some people buy tickets just to make some extra scratch by selling them on craigslist once the party sells out.

It's attended by a crowd that makes ya go hmmmm. It's in the thick of the shit downtown Chicago. It's got premium booze served by 45 bars / bartenders, so you won't be spending your night parched and in line. DJ Boogieman Luna, DJ Sasha Savic, Frankie Hollywood will all be spinning in different rooms. Champagne toast...Balloon drop...Coffee and desserts to wind down at 2AM. And it's at the flippin' Drake. Hell yeah.

Check out http://chicago-scene.com/new-years-eve-chicago.htm for all the details and get in on the early bird price before it goes up and then sells out!

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Run DMC's Darryl McDaniels creepin' our show in Hollywood...Jakpot tying Tasty K for the lead on our "Fly Girl Split Pants Scorecard"...stories about the TWC Boone's Bong producing some life-threatening hangovers...Rebate getting his face sat on during Baby Got Back... and Shor T and M80 doing some Kriss Kross at a Karaoke bar in Santa Barbara to a crowd that had NO idea what just hit 'em. Up next...Halloween at Crusens and Bourbon St. Might wanna lock the doors.

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1. The two G's from Zion in the front row throwin' $20's and $50's on stage like they were napkins. Musta been close to a $1000 on our stage by the time we figured out they weren't singles. Whoever you are, much love.

2. The big daddy who volunteered a $100 for the winner of the Booty Shake contest. That's some big pimpin', home skillet. You're the inspiration for our upcoming "Big Daddy" director's chair for anyone who wants to do that in the future. The Big Daddy will also get to decide who should get the $$.

3. The latest split pants episode. Booty Shake contest. First round. The bootiest of them all dropped it and split 'em wide open. And she WASN'T rockin' grannies. She either dih'n't know...or dih'n't care, cuz she went all the way to the finals with her back seat vent. If you want to see the "Baby Got Crack" pics, peep our comments section where a couple pics have already gone up.

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After almost two years, TWC is making a return to the west coast! Three dates are inked:

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Too White Crew is booking so many shows that we've gotta start gettin' some mo' playas in the mix!

First things first... FLY GIRL AUDITIONS! Wed., May 2nd at Joe's on Weed St. (9:00PM), we're gonna have another Fly Girl audition party. Fellas, don't worry, none of the Fly Girls are leaving. In fact, being a TWC Fly Girl carries just about the lowest attrition rate of any Jay Oh Bee in the history of the free world. We just need anotha. Her debut show is going to be May 25th at Joe's for the WORLD'S LARGEST COLLEGE PARTY! (Did we mention the 25 cent beers?!) Please PASS THIS ON TO THAT RIDICULOUSLY FLY friend of yours who turns all the heads when she shakes her money maker!

Next, as many of you know, TWC hasn't kept a full schedule because our calendar is shared by the calendars of our bandmates' other bands. The time has come for TWC to accept more shows and to travel more, so with that we need some more talent to join the Crew:

1) We are going to be seeking a new bass player, as Yo Bass! has made the most difficult decision to return to his other band, 7th Heaven for their grueling 45-show summer tour! We wish Yo! all the best and we hope that he'll fill in from time to time!

2) We need understudies for both QueLyte (keys, vocals) and Professor Milk (guitar, vocals). They ain't goin' nowhere but our schedule needs some ringers with mad skillz so TWC can keep bringing that mad flow even if QueLyte and Milk have other shizzle on their plizzle.

We are going to be combing all hoods for the most talented, fly cats so please hollaback if you've got the skillz to be a part of this wild, wild ride. More will follow soon on all of this so watch our blog for all the details.
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So we had the wildest show ever at Daddios in Bloomington last night, but it was waaay soured by someone jacking my shit off the stage at the end of the night. My yellow plaid Humpty jacked was a signed gift from Shock G (the Humpty himself) so it really has no value to anyone but me. They also jacked my P.E. clock and humpty hat.

Believe me, I'm totally down with doing stoopid shit, but this one stings. Please, party people, I ain't mad atcha. Just want my stuff back. Money can't replace that jacket.

C-note
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For starters, we looooove the booty. ALL booties. But when it comes to the TWC Booty Shake Contest, sometimes we need to regulate a lil bit. Our half-time show is a time for storybook asses to unite on stage, make fellas sweat, apply some much needed stickers, and award sensational booty owners with fabulous prizes. But that's not what this blog is about. This is a primer course to make sure that qualified candidates bum rush the TWC stage. As Salt-N-Pepa once said, "This dance ain't for ev'rybody...ooooonly the sexy people..."

1) A Hot Chick Contest. Not that we have anything against hot chicks, but it's a BOOTY Shake contest. In fact you don't have to be hott at all, but if you happen to be hott AND have a Booty that shakes like a paint stirring machine, chances are you'll go far. In the contest...and in life.

2) A "It's-my-birthday-and-I-wanna-be-on-stage" Contest. Once again, if it's your birthday AND you can shake dat asssss, have at it. But the Booty must come first. If you just wanna git up on stage and get all squirrly, hold out for Baby Got Back and let loose. The added bonus is that everyone's so marinated by the time we drop Sir Mix-a-lot that no one's gonna remember just how loose you got.

3) A "My-friends-made-me-do-it" Contest. Friends don't let friends with no ass in a Booty Shake contest. There are two parts to a Booty Shake. One is that you have a Booty, and two, that you can shake said Booty. I ain't gonna lie though, we've had some narrowasses take home top honors, so the Booty don't have to be piling out them jeans. But when them little thangs win, it's usually 'cause they popped it so hard that the Booty Shake sticker flew off that asss.

And this goes against everything a guy knows, but we also have to aks that you don't strip or flash your junk. After the show? Game on. On stage though, we'll get a beatdown by the Five-Oh's if you do. We've got mad love for all Booties and the dimes who own them. It is, however, up to the crowd to see who gets the nod. So shake what yo' momma gave ya and let the crowd know who's the bootiest of them all.

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Last weekend was so off the charts, we needed to document it in flow. We'll defer to the Sound of Music's "My Favorite Things" for the beat inside your head while you read along with this "All-309 weekend" pictorial.

So, we're finally gonna start sellin' some shit -- and it's just in time for Valentine's Day! Here's what's crackin':

Wife beaters -- $15
"Got Back?" and "Things that make you go hmmmm" are currently available. More to come soon!

Teddy Bears -- $20
What better way to tell your Valentine, "Shit bitch, you is fine" than with a Gangsta Bear that says, "Shit bitch, you is fine".

YO! MTV Raps! cards -- $3
Yup. Original, unopened packs of Yo! cards from 1991. Why not. It's three bucks and they're a great tool if you've got even the slightest amount of game.

Coming soon -- "Rock out with your clock out" t-shirts, TWC tube socks and other wife beaters.

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It's back...the 11th Annual Best of the Burbs contest at nitelife.org. Please peep their site and vote for us for "Best Hip Hop Band".

They're gonna want you to register, but the categories are kinda entertaining -- best lead singer, best club, best DJ, best burger, and of course, best hip hop band. Unfortunately, they didn't have a "Best Fly Girl" category. Kick ass waste of 5 minutes of your time nonetheless.

And if you're hell bent on helping someone win, you can vote once a day. For other suggestions on bands to vote for, check out our "Top 20"!

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What a night. 4000 people, ABC-TV and the most professional sound/lighting rig we've ever seen. DJ Strike lit the match and we shared the stage with a couple great bands -- Marty Casey & the Lovehammers and Collective Soul.

Hit up our myspace site for video clips, I'm just the drummer - puttin' them in here is too complicated. :)

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Posted 12-3-06 Subject: Look kids, it's another "Name our Fly Girl" contest!

In keeping with tradition, y'all get a chance to name her. And homeboys, check it -- this is your opportunity to be able to look up that fine thaaang while she's jackin' it on stage and mouth the words, "I naaaaamed you". We ain't lady-hatin' here -- you're all in on this too, but we think the fellas will have an extra special feeling if one of them wins it.

She finally got all up in tha 'Space so click on her picture to hug up with her and to check out what she's all about! The winner gets 4 comped tiks to her debut show with TWC at Joe's next Saturday and mad props everywhere.

Get creative party people! And here are a couple of tips: it should be easy to shout and not involve a letter since we've already got names like that. Think random and sexy! Light up and free associate, bitchezzzz!

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We just got the wuuuurd, yo -- ABC is gonna televise the first four songs of our New Years Eve blowout show!

Here's how it's goin' down. First of all, this NYE party is the biggest in Chicago...on the real. 1000 tickets were already sold before Thanksgiving. Capacity is 4000 and it WILL sell out. Too White Crew is performing with Marty Casey & the Lovehammers and Collective Soul for the ABC televised annual "Chicago New Year's Eve Rock 'N Roll Ball". Yeah, that's right, "Rock 'N Roll" with an old skool HIP HOP tribute band to light the match. Ain't that a kick in the parachute pants!?

For $85, they've got OPEN BAR from 8 till midnight, a hellacious live music lineup, a dance lounge with our homeboy DJ Gusto spinning all night -- all at a killer joint with a great view of the Chicago fireworks -- The Sheraton Chicago Hotel & Towers. $85 may seem like a lot -- unless you've tried to throw down on NYE in the City. 85 bucks usually gets you a towel and a piece of gum from the bathroom attendant. Here, you can actually get your buzz on for less than a C-note (pun intended).

So, if you're coming, PLEASE get your tickets soon (click here) and get there at 8:00! DJ Strike is gonna spin vinyl from 8:00 till 8:45. Our set is from 8:45 till 9:45. We're hoping you'll bum rush the stage because ABC is filming right when we start! They'll broadcast it a little later in the evening. When we're done, we're gonna throw down all night. The party ends at 2, but suh'in' tells me we might have a hotel room where the after party's at.

BTW, there are room packages so your license doesn't go to the man. Check out all the options when you order tiks!

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So, it's like this. Lemme take you way back -- we're talkin' like early 1600's. Up until then, the Pilgrims couldn't grow shit. They were faded, just like their dreams of livin' large; everyone was gettin' jacked and poppin' caps. But in 1621, the colonists rocked it. Crops had mad growth and everyone was grubbin' like they goin' to the chair; they built fly cribs and no one hassled the Indians; the Indians weren't in anyone's grills either. It was the first and last time we'd ever see One Love.

Governor Wil-Bra says, "Yo we gots ta have a bangin' party." And all the cats threw down. Like a week later, they're all like, "Man, that party was the bomb diggity, we gotta do this again". They collaborated and the Gov decided they're gonna kick it again...and again -- a crazy party the fourth Thursday of every November. They wanted to call it "Props-for-Crops Day" but some musket-flossin' cracker wanted it to be called Thanksgiving. As if. But he who has biggest gun wins. And so it became Thanksgiving.

Too White Crew is celebrating Thanksgiving at Sideouts in Island Lake, IL Wednesday night -- and at The Brat Stop in Kenosha, WI Saturday night. Patrons are welcome to share their "crops" with the band. :)

Too White Crew
Serving up a feast of old skool this Thanksgiving
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We've heard it from many of y'all for years... "I've always wanted to be a Fly Girl!" Well now's your chance! If you or someone you know is fly enough, Too White Crew is holding our first ever open auditions to be a Fly Girl!

Here's the deal. Auditions are going to be Tuesday, November 14th at Joe's on Weed St. in Chicago from 8-10PM.

Auditions are being held in the back room and will involve some freestyling along with learning some TWC choreography on the "fly" (git it?) to test your skillz. In the front room at Joe's, it's college night with quarter beers so we're gonna turn this thing into a mad party when we're done. Hell it might turn into a mad party DURING the auditions!

It would be very helpful to be a trained dancer. All of Too White Crew's Fly Girls are professional dancers (view Tasty K, Juicebox and Honeycomb's profiles!). They perform with Joel Hall Dancers, Instruments of Movement and Ascention. They've danced on cruise ships, worked for theme parks and have been in the casts of major musicals. One of our girls even toured with Jay-Z and R-Kelly; another's in London getting her master's in dance. So it's a liiittle more than just shakin' what cho' momma gave you!

Being a TWC Fly Girl is crazy fun. You'll work hard learning the choreography then GET PAAAID to throw down several times a month. Our Fly Girls have gone with TWC to places like the Playboy Mansion in Beverly Hills, Hollywood, Las Vegas and will likely go again.

1) Don't be confused about the name. We're the "Too White Crew" not the "All White Crew". All ethnicities are welcome!

2) Being a Fly Girl isn't just about the dancing. It's about helping throw a sick party. Please pass this around to anyone who is serious about dancing and who can make the crowd go "daaaaaomn"!

3) If you can make it, please hit us back so we have an idea of how many people are going to be auditioning!

C-note & the Too White Crew
R U fly enough?

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After another couple of recent episodes where people aksed us if we were lip syncing, I decided to repost a blog entry that i wrote a while ago, explaining TWC's dealio and what a lot of bands do when performing live:

C-note here. So I'm at Crobar late Friday night after our show and I got hit up by a little vixen while we were waiting in line for the pissers. "So were ALL of you guys lip-syncing?" Part of me wanted find a new place for the microphone that was hanging out of my pocket. The other part of me wanted to be kind and answer the question that we innocently get asked at almost every show. The latter, as always, won out. But it's time to put it all out on the table, again, to air our laundry, which is far from dirty.

Because events like these happen so frequently, I'ma get on my soapbox and speak the TWC peace. We have never and will never lip sync anything. We also don't use any tracks, pre-recorded music or even a click track for Woodsy Fresh to keep time. We don't run ProTools to help with harmonies or use any cheats of any kind. There. Damn, I feel better now.

Maybe cuz people aren't used to seeing a live hip hop cover band (to date, we're the only ones who do what we do), they don't know how to process TWC. We really haven't had any haters, just a lot of people who don't know what the hell it is that we're really doing. There is no measuring stick for hip hop "bands" so people just don't know if we're frontin' or real.

At almost every show, one of us usually shouts out that "everything you hear is live", to clear the air, but a lot of people don't even realize what we're implicating. Not only are we are humans imitating computers in a world where computers are imitating humans (which is pretty fucked up itself), but people don't realize how many bands track their shit.

You might be shocked to learn how many bands (local or national) you go to see track everything from keyboard parts to harmonies, bass lines...even lead vocals. When you hear perfect harmonies every time, horn sections out of thin air or synth solos coming from a stage where there ain't no keyboard in sight, well, there's your first hint you're not listening to a band that's all "live"!

It doesn't mean that there aren't talented musicians in the midst or that there's any harm in the entertainment they're providing. When full-time bands are playing many shows a week, tracking ball-busting vocal parts can really help save musicians' voices. Heck, from the business side of it, they can earn quite a bit more by rolling city to city with a minidisk player assuring themselves of a great performance every time. But crowds hardly know what's really going on and they're naturally thinking it's live.

We'd like to think that a lotta people don't wanna hear prerecorded tracks when they come to see a LIVE band. So TWC set out to do something that has never been done in the world: to play hip hop anthems that have never before been played live and to try to be as good as a computer. That ain't no walk in tha park, G.

We spend countless hours creating every sound for every song. Each song has it's own drum kit that we create from scratch, matching the original sounds. Each keyboard sound for each song is made from scratch. Harmonies, effects, noises, scratching...it's all created, tweaked and rehearsed till our fingers bleed or till Woodsy's too stoned to rehearse, whichever comes first.

So to sum up, the day TWC starts lip-syncing or using pre-recorded tracks is the day I'll let you take my gold chains off my neck to bitch slap me silly. To the cute little thang at Crobar, it ain't your fault. You've been Milly Vanilli'ed and Ashely Simpsoned to death. I suppose you gots every right to ask.

C
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Posted 8/30 Subject: "I've been through the desert on a Fly Girl with no name"

We've all seen stuff with buttass stupid names. Fifth Third Bank has got to be the worst of all time. Them crackheads should flat-out be arrested for trying to push that shit on us. Ruth's Chris Steakhouse is another one that rolls off the tongue like fly paper.

So you can imagine how we didn't wanna botch naming our latest Fly Girl. Steeped in tradition, the process starts with lobbin' it out to y'all first and see what you're feelin'. Last time we did this, you gave us "Honeycomb". But that sweet thang just picked up and moved her bee hive to London to get her master's in dance. She gone for a while.

For the last couple months, we've been workin' in this little rocket who until now, has gone nameless. We pitched it to you and got shitloads of possible names but there wasn't one that knocked us on our ass. Then, in the green room at Daddios, the planet's aligned and we started feelin' it.

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Posted 6/29 Subject: Which Old Skool hip hop jam should the Crew do next?

We want your vote! Peep our MySpace site and scroll down to the poll. You can't miss it -- unless you're smokin' the reeeeal good stuff. You can see who's leadin' the pack when you vote -- and we WILL learn the winning tune in a Brooklyn minute!

Daaaoomn, it's been a while. I WILL get to a blog entry that covers some of the recent highlights and lowlights over the last couple months, but I had get this one out there right away:

I just sent out an email and a bulletin about our upcoming "XL Show" at Joe's this Saturday night. And in that message, I lobbed in a lyric which I said came from Biggie Smalls ("Honey check it...Tell your friends, to get with my friends, and we can beee friends. Sheeet we can do this ev'ry weekend aight? That aight wit chu?")

Over 6000 homies received that message but only ONE called me out. That line wasn't from Biggie. That was Puff SAYING it to Biggie -- at the end of Big Poppa. I'm either going with y'all dih'n't read it or you did, and you let it slide. Cuz I can't go on living thinking that only one G in our giant posse knew I botched the quote.

And to the dime who called me out? Jen Zalatel, a writer for The Heckler and salutatorian of all things old skool...got nuthin' but love for ya baby. That just put us one step closer to doin' a Bone Thugs tune in your homeytown's honor. Thanks for keepin' me in check!

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OK. For the past several months, Bud Light has been holding Rock, Paper, Scissors competitions in bars across the country. Yes, the schoolyard game. Local winners moved on to regional competitions and 500 winners along with their guests were flown to Vegas for the national finals last weekend to compete for a $50,000 grand prize. Too White Crew played the welcome party for this most ridiculous and brilliant event.

But it almost didn't happen. Because of all the violence at hip hop shows in Vegas and elsewhere, there has recently been a "ban" on hip hop concerts in Las Vegas. Dunno how this has slipped under the radar of the press, but it's real. To what extent that ban is enforced is clearly subject to the gaming commission's discretion -- but when we heard that Snoop's private party performance for a beer company was canceled at the Rio the previous weekend, we didn't get the warm fuzzies. Well, we too musta slipped under the radar -- or maybe we just didn't qualify as a violence risk and the show went off without a hitch. Oh and did it go off.

About a week before we left, we got a call from some TV producers who wanted Too White Crew to write a theme song for the USARPS League (that's USA Rock Paper Scissors) and perform it live at the Luxor as part of a music video they'd make for the song. Seriously. I mean that there is such a league -- not that they aksed TWC to write a song. Anyway, we basically wrote, produced and recorded the song inside of 48 hours of performing it live with cameras rolling. The tune is up on our MySpace, and the lyrics are up as well, so you can flow along wit us. We're hoping the video will be released at the same time as the A&E special in June, but that's out of our hands.

So eleven of us rolled out to Vegas last Thursday -- 6 band members, our Fly Girls Tasty K & D-train, DJ Strike, our sound engineer Ethanized and Tooch, our muscle. Our Vegas agent G-man from Artasight Productions also made the trek with us and gave us the red carpet treatment. We had sick cribs at the Luxor and hookups everywhere. All the pics from these events will be posted soon at toowhitecrew.com, but we'll link out a few here. So let's get this party started.

The pool at the Luxor was SHUT DOWN Thursday afternoon to git ready for the Friday night smackdown with TWC. It was that big. We started before the sun went down and as soon as it got dark, it came unglued. People came from all over the country to party like they were going to the chair, and they did. Budweiser's Real Men of Genius were there, reading new RPS-related commercials live. A&E cameras rolled all night long. C-note got interviewed for the show and provided some (hopefully) comedic footage about the importance of RPS in the formative years of C-note's hard knock life.

After the show, G-man scored us an all-night limo and Strike got us a dopeass table at Studio 54. Throughout the weekend, the Las Vegas go go dancers were repeatedly shown that they needed to stay in the shallow end when up against TWC's Fly Girls. They just can't step to Tasty K & D-train. To put an exclamation point on that, a couple of D-train's ribs were hurting and were actually stickin' out a little on Sunday. None of us are doctors or nuthin', but we all agreed that D-train was jackin' it so hard Saturday night at Rain that we think she snapped a couple ribs right out of her cage. Or maybe it happened at the Spearmint Rhino, where the girls were throwin' down so hard that management aksed them to sit down because the strippers were tipping THEM.

Sunday was the RPS contest at Mandalay Bay's House of Blues. 500 "athletes" competing for a $50,000 grand prize and the title of the USARPS 2006 Champion -- a distinct honor indeed. In the bylaws of the league, they recommend athletes were protective head gear. As if. So the costumes were nuts. The miniature boxing ring on stage (used for the round of 16 through the finals) was nuts. The professional referrees...the coaches & trainers, wiping sweat off their athlet in between throws...poor sportsmanship, ring girls, penalties, illegal throws, discussions of strategy -- complete insanity. A sober bystander would surely think Earth has come off its axis. It'll all be on A&E in June.

In the end, the national champion was crowned -- walkin' away with fitty g's, the runner-up got five large and the winner of the "world's longest Roshambo match" (500 throws) won a new car. Dave Attell (from the show Insomniac) hosted the gig and even The Chop (King of Cars) got in on the announcing.

We left battered, tragically hung over like this dude and with a fistful of cash from the Luxor's luckiest blackjack table. We also got a nice little stack o' bidness cards for us to figure out where the Crew is throwin' down next in Vegas.

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First of all, there's no gettin' past the Iowa 80 truckstop ("world's largest") without stopping. Of all the the odd and disturbing things you can buy there, the can of Monkey Butt and the Travel John win big. They win so big, they've got 'em right by the door so you can't miss 'em -- even if you don't have monkey butt or need to piss in a zip lock.

Then there's the newest strip club in Cedar Rapids called the Lumberyard. Check it -- EVERYone goes there in the CR. When all the 2AM bars close, all roads lead to the Lumberyard. Even if you don't like strip clubs, you'll find yourself in a car headed there cuz that's the law. So after a trip to the liquor store, (it's BYOB), after the country roads, after you reach the end of civilization...in the back of an industrial park, BAM -- neon lights and birthday suits. You can hang -- literally and figuratively or get in the thick of the shit to blow your wad...of cash. Time it right (or wrong depending on your constitution) and you'll be there for all the porn DVD giveaways.

Oh yeah, and we played at Muddy's too BTW. Props to DJ Bryan Lee who again opened our show and kept it jumpin' in between sets. It was our rowdiest crowd to date so we appreciate all the love y'all dish up when we bomb it. From what we heard when Will Smith came on, looks like "Parents Just Don't Understand" just got bumped up on TWC's "To Do" list! We'll see you May 13th!

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This entry is about some behind the scenes stuff that we hope you'll find kinda amusing -- at least it was to me.

It started with Friday's load-in at Shenannigan's which is where we laid it down on the 17th. If y'all don't know, Shenannigan's is located in Chicago's eye of the storm. It's on Division St. -- or as outta towners know it, "Rush Street" -- a strip of bars that either gives a rush or a rash, depending on how you roll. Even Lincoln Park Trixies who might otherwise dry heave at the thought of being near Chicago's Viagra Triangle, know that on St. Patrick's Day, all bets are off. They don't even need to tell their friends they lost a bet. Like a trip to the D.M.V., everyone's the same on St. Pattie's Day in the Chi.

And the shit starts early. 10AM the heavies come out usually going the distance, with a couple of purges along the way to keep themselves fresh. We had to get our gear loaded in by like noon or we faced an obstacle course of wobbly humans holding cups of green beer with gravitational instincts for musical equipment. And that would suck -- kinda like how we don't have full-time roadies sucks.

So we did our setup thing and pulled the rip cord to get us out of the Gold Coast before the real shit hit the fan. When we "got back" (git it?) to the bar around 7:00, the line was almost to Five Faces (a professional reference to benefit only those who mainline gyros at the end of their Division Street stints). Part of me would like to say we caused that line, but that would be a little bit of a stretch. Truth be told, the bar coulda had someone on stage preaching from the Koran and they'd have still needed ropes out front. Even those allergic to alcohol go out and get blind drunk on St. Pattie's Day. That said, yeah, our peeps were there, but I ain't gonna lie, so were a few hundred people with a map in their car or a room key in their pocket.

Q101 was in effect, with Sherman starting a live broadcast at 7:00. BTW, BIG UPPS to Q101 for having Too White Crew as the band for their St. Patrick's Day throwdown! I mean, with Q101's motto being "All Things Alternative", TWC fits that description about as much as a forty fits a koozie. But itsalllll good. A party's a party. Q101 knows it, TWC knows it. And dammit, we'd like to think we pour gasoline on them. Q101 rocks, period the end.

We chilled next door, upstairs in some office-turned-makeshift-green-room. It had a stock bar "hidden" inside a filing cabinet. It was an instant hit. I didn't even want a Jack & Coke, but how could I pass up a drink from the "A-L" drawer? In all the excitement, I didn't even consider how this would mix with the upcoming forties. Fuck it, it's Green Day. It's all comin' back up later anyway, ain't it? And speaking of green, Woodsy & the Rev were M.I.A. as part of their pre-game date with the hitter box.

At 8:00, we rode. And it was a hell of a ride. We dropped two hours of rewind, then packed up our gear and started our own self-destructive path. After all, it ain't easy peein' green, and we were starting to fall behind.

Thanks Chi-town for making Shenannigan's the place to be Friday night. We're sorry for all y'all out there that couldn't get in. All's we can say is we warned ya! Much love to Jules (so did he or dih'n't he?) who flew in from Cali, the crew who drove in from Grand Rapids, the 815 crew, Peoria (ooh la la, those Crusens sisters), B-town, the other familiar faces and all the new ones who are now all up in our MySpace.

Since you've made it this far, we'll dip into the "Completely Useless Information" files.

Shor T has this thing about all of us putting shit on her turntables at the end of the night when we're all packing up. She couldn't be any more in the right, and it has sorta become a source of post-show comedy. She can't tear down her gear when she's gotta play maid to all of us children who make a mess after a show. The thing is, she's got the only flat surface on the whole stage, so we tend to dump stuff there (mics, sweat rags, dead batteries...) while we run around after the shows, goofin' on people, doin' shots, whatevuh. Well, we stooped to a new low Friday night and she decided to capture it on film as a reminder to us all. The least we could do is share it as sort of a public cry for help, like how a jilted chick tells all her friends about what an asshole her ex is to make sure her friends don't let her get near him. So is this, to all of you, about us...and Shor T's turntable table. Friends don't let friends dump junk. Shor T thanks you.

One more thing. Some of you might have noticed I was a little less "Jump, Jump" on stage Friday night. You weren't seeing things. At the risk of oversharing (stay tuned for a happy ending), I wrenched my back earlier in the week -- all stemming from a car wreck back in college. And once every couple years, it decides to say, "Whadup C? Miss me bitch? How 'bout stayin' in bed for a week or two?" I couldn't even walk Friday, but I knew SOMEHOW the shit HAD to go down Friday night. So I consulted a handful of really smart people with complicated suffixes on their names who warned me to not even THINK about performing Friday. But what kinda G would cancel a show cuz of a BACK injury? As Tone once said to Cali, "I don't think so".

The doc also said to drink lots of fluids. Well, I did. Those damn Jack & Cokes -- yeah, it became plural...and a couple forties later, (did I mention the pain killers?), I didn't know I even HAD a back let alone one that wasn't workin' right. Hell, I poisoned that injury right into submission.

But the real satisfaction came when I went back to the doctor's office Saturday and the doc asked if I went through with the performance. I told him I did. He asked how I got through it and I told him I partied my balls off and ever since then I've been feeling great. At that point, I pretty much picked up my stuff and left. Let that be a lesson to us all. In times of adversity, tap the bottle and twist the cap.

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Actually, it's not MTV -- it's VH1, but that dih'n't pop, so, screw it. We lied.

So the show is called "VH1 Goes Inside Yo! MTV Raps". And y'all gotta TiVo that beeotch. It takes you back and drops your ass right back in the early 90's when all the music that TWC covers was hot. Hit the above link and it'll take you to the next time it's showing.

If you're really rotting your brain and catch a little Flavor of Love, watch for Flav flossin' C-note's giant silver clock that C-note gave him last December when Flav came to the Chi. In Flav's words, "I'm gonna wear the shit out of this clock. You gonna see this ohn da Teeee Veeeee and in da Mooo-veees..."

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This weekend started with our second appearance at the south side's hell-raisin' Bourbon St. We lobbed in DJ Strike and our Fly Girls M80 & Tasty K to amp up the night. Dunno what did it but the levy broke and the 708 represented like y'all were goin' to the chair. It only gets uglier from here, so we hope you'll spread the wuuuurd and mount up on March 23rd. Speaking of levies, we have to give shout outs to two homegirls who were more wasted than a FEMA trailer in Arkansas. And much love to our Kristi & Kimmy, who made the trek from the moon to git there. But ladies, we can do without pics like this one.

Friday night at Crusens in Peoria was one hot mess. Power 92 was in all up in it -- Big D, Garfield, Steph, Gusto, Q -- sheeet, why dih'n't ya just bring some gear and broadcast that bitch live?!

The TWC "Booty Club" stickers (mad props to Jeff Rosiak!) were introduced and applied to several new members. Our hands are still sore from smackin' all that asssssss!

P-town, when Too White Crew rolls down on 3/31, the pinch at the door might go up a buck, but it's only cuz we're thinkin' it might be time to bring our Fly Girls to P-town to blow it up with us, and if we do, they gots ta git paaaaid! Hope that's cool, 309. It'll be like In Living Color alllll over again, live and in your grill. Until then, as Biggie once said...

"Tell your friends, to get with my friends.
And we can BE friends. Shit we can do this every weekend.
Aight? Is that aight wit chu?"

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We rolled out to Daddios in Bloomington on the 3rd and faceplanted into a record crowd. [He tips his Kangol] We brought our Fly Girls M80 and Honeycomb there for the first time, who were apparently well liked by both the fellas and lay-dees so y'all just might see more of them. It was Brian's b-day so we let him spit a little Cypress Hill on the mic. And since Professor Milk is in Costa Rica until the our show on the 23rd, we had to give you a Countafit.

On the 4th we bombed Cedar Rapids, IA -- again to a record crowd. Hell yeah. Much love to the 319 for helping us tear the roof off. DJ Bryan Lee threw it down (and then threw it up around 5AM but that's another story -- Ohhhhhh!) And what's with that new titty bar y'all gots in town? It's like a mirage in the middle of an industrial park. "Not that there's anything wrong with it."

Then there was last Thursday, the 9th at Duffy's. There have been a lot of tunes that praise Old English, but none that quite capture the essence of twenty-something supervixens whose inhibitions are stripped clean from that golden malt liquor. Sounds like a hit in the making. Anyway, those pics will be up soon at toowhitecrew.com. They're worth peeping. Someone, please keep us away from Yakzee's after Duffy's shows. Prolly should stay away from La Bamba Too. The employees really dih'n't much care for us beatboxing and flowing our remix of Big Poppa -- "I love it when you smell like La Bam-ba. Throw yo' handz in tha aiya, if you wants some gardeniera." That shit just ain't right.

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Posted 2/9/06 Subject: Vote for TWC on nitelife.org!

It's votin' time for Suburban Night Life's 10th annual "Best of the Burbs" contest. Log on www.nitelife.org to vote TWC for "Best Hip Hop Band". That title and a buck seventy five will get us on a bus, but what the heck. It's suh'in'. Plus all the band category voting is kinda fun. You can actually vote once a day, but we ain't aksin' ya for that. Just once is cool. Cuz that's the kind of peeps we is.
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So, if you were at the Blue Iguana Saturday night, then you know why I'm rockin' a shit-eatin' grin right now. Damn that was stupid fun. Anything kickin' out that much energy usually gets regulated by the FDA. But the only regulatin' that went down was by the 600 who "packed it up, packed it in."

Some shout outs -- Knyte, congrats on your new Jay Oh Bee; Drew, happy 30th beeotch; Laura, how could I forget you? ...your name is still inked on my hand; Kristen, you floss quite possibly the greatest ass in the history of asses.

Sorry to hear about those who couldn't get in when the place maxed out. Lines suck. Lines in the rain are tragic. And, yeah, the Iguana needed to get waaaay more forties...along with more bartenders! But, hey, at least we didn't blow the power this time!

Thanks Chicago for throwing down with us!
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Posted: 1/14/06 Subj: Off the chizzain in the 309

Just what the hell was in the water Friday night in P-town?! Our Crusens shows are laaarge but not THAT large...until now anyway! Thanks to the 600 G's who supersized this beeotch! Pics will be up soon, but we've gotta get some shout outs up in here: First of all, Big D, we dig doin' Fight the Power with you so much that we don't even do that tune without you anymore. It just doesn't measure up without your ass up there kickin' Chuck D's parts; Next up, Roziak Graphics...WTF! JEFF (yeah, C-note knows it's not Jim...cut him some slack, he was on his THIRD forty by then), those TWC stickers you printed were sick fun. SICK. Rick James could only hope to get as much unsolicited T&A as we did when applying those stickers. What a stroke of brilliance. We wish we'd have thought of it. You should win an industry award for "best new way to create a customer"; Brad Conner, thanks for shootin' over your pics, homey. This ass shopping gem pretty much embodies the spirit of the evening -- G'head girl, go on, git down; All you people who have been leaving us love on MySpace...you're single handedly keeping us from putting up a guest book on toowhitecrew.com! S'aaaall good though! See y'all Feb. 24th!

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Posted 1/11/06 Subj: GOT MLK?

It's not often you'll see us get heavy, but this Monday is Martin Luther King day. For those of you who come to our shows, you know that we celebrate the golden era of hip hop. Most of the tunes we cover spread the message of peace and equality -- a message which was amplified all over the world by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Anyone with a pulse has to feel the power of those four words by which he is most known..."I have a dream". In observance of this national holiday, please take a moment to remember this civil rights leader whose attempt to change the world was tragically cut short on that fateful day in 1968.

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Posted: 1/8/05 Subj: It's official. Our new Fly Girl's name is...

Honeycomb. Big ups to a Geri Connor who knocked that one out. Geri will be getting a fat PE clock from us for being the Chosen One. Thanks to everyone who played, especially the FOUR people who nominated "H-bomb". We'd have used it, but Too many of us already rock a letter in our names. Plus there's suh'in' sweet and lickable (that ain't no misspellin') about Honeycomb that fits our Heather juuuuust right.

Hope you'll getchasssss our to McGee's this Thursday if you're in tha Chi!

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Posted: 1/2/06 Subject: Weekend Update

Last weekend's shows were among our biggest indoor crowds in TWC's three year history! We apologize to those (as well as thank) who waited in the lines at Duffy's and Crobar. For those who gutted it out, it was one hell of a night! Pics will be up this week from those two shows. Big ups to Shav (the resident DJ at Duffy's) who served up a framed, dopeass pic of C-note as a holladay gift. Also, all you homies from the 309 who made it to the Chi, hell yeah. K-dawg from Denver? Represent represent. Austin, TX? Check. Kelly's crew from NYC? Check. Kathy, Mike and Ann Marie from Indiana? Check. Buellier? Bueller? Bueller? :) The love went deep and we feel ya!

Keep on lobbin' in all those Fly Girl name suggestions! We've got it narrowed down to a short list, but we're still accepting entries!
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Posted: 12/19/05 Subj: NAME OUR FLY GIRL CONTEST!

OK, so it's like this. We've got this Fly Girl. Her name is Heather. She joins Tasty K, D-train, Lunchbox and M80 on our roster. But we haven't knocked out a stage name for her yet. Usually it just hits C-note and whoomp, there it is. Dih'n't happen this time. So we put it to you, party people. Name this Fly Girl. There's no Benjamin in it for you, but you'll get mad love on our site if you're the chosen one. But way better than the online love is to be able to look up at her onstage and be thinkin', "That's right, I'm the daddy who named you". You know you would Too. C'mon, give us your best shot. Don't cost nuttin'. :) Send your best effort to toowhitecrew@aol.com.

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Posted 12/7/05 Subj. Too White Crew on MySpace.

Hook up with the Crew on MySpace at www.myspace.com/toowhitecrew!

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Posted 12/03/05 Subj: South SIIIIIIIIDE!

Wow. Did we feel the love at Bourbon St. Can't wait to hit up the 708 again soon. We're actually trying to push up our next date, so be sure to sign up on our mailing list for the first crack at knowin' when it will be. Since Bourbon St. has got us in their giant "Performance Hall" we're gonna see about reserving front-an'-center tables for those on our list who RSVP that they're comin' to rep the south side at the next show, yo. We're also prolly gonna lob in the Fly Girls next time...and maybe even DJ Strike to spin it out befo' an' afta' we drop. We're gonna make these Bourbon St. shows Xtra Large! You ain't seen nuthin' yet! Much love to the supervixen Dawn for mounting up with her regulatin' crew!

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Posted: 11/25/05 Subj: PLAYBOYEEEEE!

So, yeah, the Playboy Mansion. We bombed it. What a slice of life that was. There's only so much that we can say...and only so much we can post in pictures. But the pics we CAN post are up in the gallery. Having dinner at the mansion, taking a tour the mansion, dropping lyrical sammiches at the mansion, chillin' in the Grotto, and oh yeah...Playmates. It all went down. On the real. Gig of a lifetime. Or was it? They say they'd like to have us back so we be keepin' our blingged-out fingers crossed.

We shacked up for the weekend at the Standard on Sunset, right in the thick of the shit in W. Hollywood and we gave the west coast their first ever taste of old skool hip hop anthems performed 100% live. There was some real pride we felt about being a band from the Chi, coming to the land where a lot of the music we cover was written -- and being the first band to EVER actually perform it live (Too White Crew uses no tracks or pre-recorded music). And that's no disrespect to anyone. Guess we're just proud to be the ones to do it. And L.A. was ready for it. Wish kinda wish our camera battery was. Damn thing got spent on the Mansion the night before (can you blame us) and we tragically fo'got to charge it.

Considering our show at The Gig in W. Hollywood was booked with only three days' notice...AND since we could only get the 12:30AM graveyard shift (late by L.A. standards), there was potentail for disaster. Instead, it turned out to be one of the most amped up shows in our three year history. The place was fit to pop, and we owe a lot to the TWC homies who spread the love and let everyone know about the show! If you were there, please send us pics! We saw a lot of cameras out there! There's a "Got Back?" t-shirt in it for you if you do!

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Posted 11/15/05 Subject: Too White Crew set to play the Playboy Mansion in LA!

It's been three years comin', but Too White Crew is finally set to drop old skool lyrical bombs on the west coast! We're playing the Playboy Mansion Friday, November 18th and we've got a showcase lined up at The Gig on Melrose for this Saturday. Check out our "shows" link (above) to get the 411 on our first trip to the west coast!
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Posted 11/4/05 Subject: Halloween Weekend Recap

It's taken days to recover from our collective life-threatening hangovers. C-note lost his digital camera at Saturday's Pimp and Ho party which really buh-lows -- 'specially since it had all the naaaasty pics on it from both Saturday and Friday's Pimp and Ho party in Cedar Rapids. If anyone out there has it, please hit us up! You'll get more from us than what it's worth! Transit has some pics posted here , but all the real naughty ones will have to be donated by guests of the party (where arrree yoouuuuu, party pee-pohhhl!)
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Posted 10/15/05 Subj: From the "TWC's Funniest Videos" files -- "The Hadji Dance"

Back in February, TWC opened for Tone Loc and Rob Base. During our set, we were treated with a cameo by a cat who came up and, well, "sang" a verse of the Humpty Dance that brought down the house. We give to you The Hadji Dance. (If our vids don't work or if you only get the sound, be sure you have the latest version of QuickTime - don't cost nuttin'. When playing the file, watch the status bar, yo. It might take a while to load but it's worth it!)
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Posted 10/3/05 Subj: "Weekend Update"

Just when we decided that a 3 hour drive was our limit, we find this city called Cedar Rapids, IA that "busts like a bubble" whenever TWC rolls out. The bartender gitups alone are worth the 4.5 hour trip from the Chi. "But wait, that's not all!" Friday night slammed. The O.E. forties were on sale for $3.99 and some homies were even double fistin' 'em, like they were goin' to the chair. That's like, eighty for all you math majors; Two of our Fly Girls made the trek with us and helped make the fellas sweat; and some homegrown talent from the CR got on the mic and spit some mad flow. Big upps to the CR's own DJ Bryan Lee who got the pahty stahted riiiight and kept it goin' in between sets!

We returned home to the Chi Saturday for a lovefest at the Blue Iguana, and more than 400 of you reminded us where the greatest city on Earth is. One of you even landed in our upcoming "t-shirt hall of fame" gallery!

We've got a much needed couple weeks off, so a big group hug to everyone who came out and repped last weekend! AND DON'T FUHGIT! THE BIGGEST PARTY OF THE YEAR IS COMING UP! Click on www.pimpandhochicago.com and get your tickets now for Brad Altman's Halloween "spectacular" on the 29th! You can see galleries of the past two TWC Pimp and Ho appearances here and here. You ain't seen nuthin' like this party outside Vegas!
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Posted: 9/25/05 Subj: Frat house follies

Well, the wheels came off last night in Bloomington -- almost literally, given the hazy, laaate night joy ride in the ghetto limo (with special guests Homegirl, the Big Grim and Fat Jeff Goldblum). Daddios came unglued. White Trashistan opened up the show, and kept the place kickin' in between our sets...It was Woodsy and Shor T's birthday (Go Shor T, it's y'er birffday), along with about a dozen other hood rats in the crowd and QueLyte even let her hair down for this extra special night! The Hafners came down from the Chi and Halik's saucy cousin Andrea represented. Another first: C-note dipped well into his THIRD forty during the second set -- jager bombs notwithstanding.

Late night at the Delta Sigs house was a trip. Pole dancing, pledge abuse, thirty packs of Keystone Light. Good times, good times. WT's DumHonkey got all hugged up early on so he missed seeing his drummer retch after shotgunning a beer with C-note (which, BTW, according to the timestamp occurred at 3:09 AM. That's 309. Hell yeah it did.). DH, he did you proud though -- he rawked out throught it all. Thanks to everyone who came out and repped the 309! As the great scholar Wooderson once said, "You just gotta keep on livin', man. L-I-V-I-N." See you all Sat., Nov. 12!
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Posted: 9/23/05 Subj: Must See TV

This coming Monday, 9/26 at 9PM eastern time, the second annual Hip Hop Honors is on VH-1, featuring live performances from LL Cool J, Salt 'N Pepa, Big Daddy Kane and other G's. It honors the pioneers of hip hop -- the shizzle TWC covers. So if you like what we do, check out the mastas at work this coming Monday night. VH-1 shows mo' reruns than Seinfeld and Sex and the City combined, so if you miss it, chances are you can TiVo the beeotch later on. Werd.
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Posted: 9/23/05 Subj: Shock G. (AKA the Humpty) gave us mad love

C-note here. Every time I put on that ridiculous yellow plaid jacket before I spit out "Alright stop what cha doin', cuz I'm about to ruin..." I get a special tingly feelin'. Some a y'all know why, but I gots to share the story, now that we have this little corner of the web to ink our "moments in old skool".

About a year ago, I get this package from a "Greg Jacobs in Oakland, CA". and I'm like wassup? Do I know this cat? It ain't ticking, so I open it. Gotta be honest, until I opened it, I forgot that "Greg Jacobs=Shock G.=Humpty="the one who put the satin on your panties". Anyway, Shock sent me a custom painted nose (with his "Humpty Vitton" pattern) and the signed jacket that I floss at shows. The glasses stay at home, but as y'all have seen, the jacket hits the road with us. So big upps to Shock for being that real. As Michael Biv once said, "Now you know."
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Posted 9/18 Subj: Death Becomes the Pimp Cup

Well, it happened. Again. C-note's Pimp Cup bit the dust. And that oughtta do it for pimp cups. It wasn't old skool anyway. We knew that, but when C-note's voice hits the skids on those longs weekends, forties don't exactly help. So sippin' H20 out of a pimp cup offered a much higher bling quotient than bustin' out a big plastic bottle of Aquafina. Oh well, we can't keep lettin' fools be breakin' glass chalai that cost as much as we pocket at a gig.

After surviving an out-of-state theft, a subsequent Amber Alert and heroic return, this one went pretty silently: At Austin's, C-note was chillin' in the crowd when some dude's Bud bottle smashed into the cup and took out a chunk. Figures it would be a Bud bottle. Until Debbie Does Chalice starts making indestructible dopeass pimp cups, it looks like we'll be rockin non-dopeass, standard issue plastic cups.

And for the record, when y'all see us throwin' down forties of O.E., yes, it really is O.E. We ain't frontin'. The day we start switching out our beer is the day we start lip syncing and using recorded tracks, beeeootchh!
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Posted 9/10/05 Subj: From the "Is That Really Necessary?" files:

So we're at a liquor store in Libertyville to pick up some fat sacks and BAM! -- staring us right in the grill is the first forty that has ever made us think twice about straying from O.E. "O.E. 800 High Gravity" -- amped up swill that's proudly rated at 8% alcohol content. As if regular O.E. doesn't spook the brain enough, the cats at Miller had to jack it up with a "High Gravity" version? And just what the hell does that mean? Drink it and your old skool ass levitates? Now THAT would be a beer. In any case, Woodsy knocked one down Friday night, and after the show he was shaking as he recalled what happened next: "During Candy Man, I looked down and my feet were constricted in a web of neon-colored Christmas garland. Then, two more arms grew out of my torso and began signing me lines from House Party III." He broke down and couldn't speak. We promised we'd never make him speak of it again.
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Posted 09/07/05 Subj. Labor Day Weekend recap

To mention the word Labor in the same paragraph as the one used to describe our weekend is a punishable crime. For starters, WE DRANK MCGEE'S OUT OF MILLER LITE. That's good work on a Thursday. C-note's Cazal's got crushed, but they had a good two-year run, so it's all good. Friday took us to Peoria, where we had a record-setting crowd, herds of supervixens, body shots, Adam's 30th b-day party and even a cat who wretched on himself then passed out in the middle of it all. As if that didn't burn up the camera enough, even DJ Shor T gave up a little suh'in' suh'in'! A night to remember fo' sho'.

Sunday the Crew went to Blarney Island, where the Modern Day Romeos was pouring gasoline all over this fire. If y'all ain't ever been to Blarney Island, check it: It really IS an island. The only way to get there is by ferry. And this is the crime scene as we approached. From there it just got ugly. And uglier. And naughty. And naughtier. All the pics will be up soon. They're def worth comin' back to! Bookmark this beeeeeottttchhhh
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Posted: 08/30/05 Subj: Worst photographer in the world?

Every once in a while, we get the bright idea to entrust our digital camera into the hands of a willing but often tragically overserved patron. The results of these "guest photographers" wildly varies. We'd like to share two of our favorites. In this picture, Jim (of Tracy & Jim -- holla 309!) merely had the camera backwards. After the flash cooked his retina, he handed back the camera with an expression on his face like he nailed the shot. The real tragedy here is that the photo op he missed was of two supervixens locking lips. Nice work Jim. In the runner-up photo taken at Kam's, this guy had one foot in the grave and the other foot on a Banana Red bottle when he thought he had us squared up in the viewfinder. Don't quit your day jobs, fellas!
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Posted 9/29/05 Subj: U of I breakdown -- Kam's vs. CO Daniel's Marquee Spelling Bee

The trip to University of Illinois last Wed. was one for the record books. First off, let's get to the Kam's vs. CO's spelling bee. Each bar gave their finest academic effort to lure in that 19-and-over Humpty Hump Day crowd and posted it on their marquee. Kam's and Miller beer dished up Too White Crew and $1.50 Miller bottles; CO's had DJ Suh'inoranother and dollar U-Call-Its. Click here for the spelling bee results. Aren't y'all supposably smart n' stuff? :)

And say what you want about Greek life, but what C-note and Milk experienced at the DU house brought a tear to our eyes. It's like this: It's 4AM on the first Wednesday night of the school year. C-note and Milk are chillin' on the 3rd floor, gettin' ready to leave after knockin' back a couple beers and a philly cheese steak when they were met with the following scene in the hallway -- three double-fisted brothers trying to pull start a lawn mover. Just mowin' the hallways at 4AM. Apparently the 2nd floor carpet already got a trimmin', so the fellas were just finishing the job up top. A fine effort gentlemen.
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Posted 8/18/05 Subj: "What happened to the Too White Crew mural?"

So check it -- That giant backdrop / mural we've been flossing at our shows since day one went M.I.A. a couple months ago. We ain't never said nuthin' about it, but since some of y'all been aksing what happened to it, here's the story: We loaded the 8 foot tall canvas roll on the ferry with all our other shizzle to get to our gig at Blarney Island in Antioch back in June. So, we get to the island, forget to put it up, play the gig, take the ferry back and load up to head home. No mural. The damn thing vanished. The best we can figure is that it jumped overboard. Or Woodsy smoked it. In either case, we out a mural.
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Posted 8/16/05 Subj: C-note sings the Anthem at Wrigley

A plain-clothesed C-note dropped the National Anthem last Sunday night at Wrigley for ESPN's "Game of the Week" against the Cards. We can't rebroadcast WGN's tape, but here's footage from a camcorder in close range to the action. From left to right, it's C-note, Punesguy, Freddy (former guitarist from Hairbanger's Ball; current guitarist/vocalist for Voices) and James A. -- the lead singer from the band that brought C-note, Freddy and James A. together back in tha day, "Common Ground". And no, that wasn't any of them singing that last line tragically out-of-tune. That honor goes to a nameless, drunkass friend of the band who decided to chime in at the end -- destroying an otherwise damn good recording! :)
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Posted 8/3/05 Subj: Apologies from the Crew!

We'd like to apologize for the late cancelation of our Joe's show! No, none of us got capped, OD'd or landed in the pokey. In fact, there was no drama of any kind. The charity involved really wanted to move this to weekend night in the fall, which is cool wit us, but some a ya dih'n't get the wuuurd in time. A couple of us just got home from Duffy's, where we were checkin' out our friends in Voices, and we ran into some of y'all who bought tickets. If you're out there, hit us up! We'll make it right. All the mo' reason to sign up on our mailing list so we can keep you in tha know, yo! We're gonna unload old skool lyrical bombs on Duffy's on Thursday the 18th so we hope you'll reload and throw down with us then!
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Posted 7/28/05 Subj: McGee's in Chicago

The start of something beautiful...Taste of Lincoln Ave. weekend. Ring in the upcoming hellacious weekend with a trip to Lincoln Park's favorite watering hole, where dollar Miller & Bud bottles now peacefully coexist. Since the Miller Brewing Co. has been supporting TWC in many ways, we hope that any buds you have will be rolled.

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Posted Fri. 7/29/05 Subj: S2X in Coal City, IL

This sleepy little town 20 minutes from Joliet got an irreparable jolt of energy when S2X opened its doors. It's like a city club got swept up by a tornado and dumped in a rural setting. And the waitstaff came along for the ride (nice work Scotty and Dave!) It's our second stop back at S2X, so we're looking forwarding to our Next Episode in the 815.
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Posted Sun. 7/31/05 Subj: Taste of Lincoln Ave. in Chicago -- 3:00-4:00 PM AND 10:00 PM -1:00 AM

REGULATORRRRS! Mount up! This is the Mother Lode street fair that you all train for year round. It is a drinking marathon that few survive without proper pacing and experience. The lineup itself for the Bordo's stage (Wrightwood and Lincoln) is dizzying:

1:30 pm - Cat Fight
3:00 pm - Too White Crew with TWC's Fly Crew and DJ Strike
4:30 pm - Elevation
6:00 pm - Hairbanger's Ball
8:00 pm - Mike & Joe

BUT WAIT, there's more! As soon as Mike & Joe is done, Too White Crew is serving up the Sunday night throwdown inside Bordo's, so the insanity continues. Call in sick now. Monday morning will never have NEVER felt worse.

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Posted: 7/18/05 Subj: THE PIMP CUP COMETH HOME!

C-note here, and I just got a package in the mail today that ranks #2 on my list of "dopest things I've ever received in the mail" -- MY PIMP CUP! I wanna give mad love to Angela Schmuecker in Cedar Rapids who happened to be in a bar recently and overheard a conversation about someone jacking it. She knew the G, he coughed it up and she mailed it to me. No hard feelings homeboy -- "I ain't mad cha"... just keep your meathooks off our bling and we cool! A-style, you get the first "Got Back?" t-shirt when we get our next batch delivered. Oh yeah, and #1 on my "dopest things I've ever received in the mail"? My custom Humpty jacket and nose/glasses gift from Shock G (aka the Humpty Hump).
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Posted 7/12/05 Subj: "Weekend Update"

Whoa. In the words of Clark W. Griswold, we had so much fun "we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles!" Mutha Nature cooperated and served up some of the finest Chicago weather on record. We were a couple of decibels short of thumping the Castaways
"boat" right into Lake Michigan. Click here for the link to take you to the pics posted on Chicago Sport & Social's website.

Sunday's show outside Wrigley field was a statement in endurance for TWC fans. After a ball buster Friday and whatever the hell y'all did Saturday, you came out Sunday en masse to throw down in the middle of the afternoon. Mad love. This dime named Tracy was trippin' so hard she busted out a keg stand. Daaaooomn!

Last but not least, the rare pic was nabbed with TWC's C-note, Hello Dave's (aka "Yo, wazzup Dave") lead singer Mike and Underwater People's (aka Underwater Home Boys) lead singer Jimmy. Next stop, P-town (Peoriyo!) this Friday. Whadup 309! And speaking of the 309, big ups to Big Hit Buda for making it up from Bloomington for both shows.

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Posted 7/5/05 Subj: The dam broke in Cedar Rapids last night

We had no idea what to expect last night, and the 319 delivered a strong message. "BRING IT, CRACKERZ". The old skool flood gates opened to a packed house, and y'all represented like you've been cryogenically frozen since 1996. We're locked and loaded with dates at Muddy Waters through the end of the year (including our "Next Episode" Thurs., 8/25). Can't wait to be back! BUT...

We also have some bad news to report though. Someone jacked C-note's pimp cup last night and words can't even begin to describe the beatdown that comes with a jack like that. It was a custom-made gift that is irreplaceable. We're sure someone was just a little Too amped up and thought the bling would look nice in their crib, but it can't possibily mean nearly as much to you as it does to the C. If you're out there or you know who has it, please either return it to Muddy's or e-mail us to let us know it's safe. We ain't gonna be pissed. It won't be the first time someone's come clean with pinching suh'in' off our stage! But at this point, it's a big black eye on last night's show that will disappear when C-note gets to floss his phat chalice again.

Back to tha positive. Until 8/25, load up your ipods with your "Yo! MTV Raps!" CD's and brush up on your old skool, cuz we don't wanna just rock the Rapids, we wanna tidal wave the beeotch.
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Posted 7/3/05 Subj: D-train's now a Luvabull

Mad love to our smokin' hot Fly Girl D-train (otherwise known as "HOLY SHIT is that chick hot") who just got hired on as a Luvabull. Better come see her in action before Hollywood finds this one and snaps her away from TWC!
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Posted 6/28/05 Subj: Bloomington or Brooklynton?

Friday we hit Daddios as hard as the mercury hit the top of every thermometer in town. To all you homies in B-town, you heard us say it on stage, and you're gonna hear it here Too -- y'all know your shit. Like no other town, y'all know your shit. We don't know where you get your mad knowledge of old skool lyrics, but there is nowhere else TWC plays where the crowd flows along side us like in the 309. Big D, Kari, Cantone and the Power 92 crew, keep pumpin out your hip hop flava over the airwaves. Our next trip back to the Mack Daddios ain't till August 19th, so if you wanna get yo' fix before then, come hit us up at Crusens in Peoria on July 15th!
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Posted: 6/17/05 Subj: White Lines
That's what you saw if you tried to get into McGee's Thursday night around 11:00! We're sorry if you were all up in it. Damn thing went to the end of the block! For those you made it, we've NEVER heard so many people flowin' along with us! Where did all these old skool addicts come from?! Special shout outs to Abbe in from NYC and our esteemed Spring Final Exam top scorer Marky Mark Kach who exercised his prize-winning passes -- good call homey!
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Posted 6/13/05 Subj: "Weekend Update"

Friday, the Crew trekked out to Blarney Island in Antioch with Tasty K and M80 to drop old skool flow on the Chain O' Lakes for the first time evuh. And "a strange thing occurred on the way to the island". We found out the island only has a live music license till 10PM (due to a noise ordinance), which means we had to be DONE by 10PM. They can have MUSIC until 1AM, but just not live. The dummies writing the law books out there don't even realize that club music spun by a DJ can rage much louder than a band. By the time we were done, the island was at capacity for the first time in over a year, with most of them wondering when our second set was gonna start. "Ummmm, it like, um, started at like 8:30..." Meanwhile, shiploads of people were still getting turned away at the port. Great time, but it was a buzzkill to be tearing down while everyone was tearing it up! Be assured, we're headin' back to that little man-made mecca as soon as we can find an open date...to mud wrestle that city council!

Saturday night was the Mother Lode show for TWC! With the full Fly Crew and DJ Strike in effect, the Too White Crew tribe bombed St. Mike's and Old Town with an epic, record-setting night. Over 20,000 came to the weekend festival and over 6,000 people came through St. Mike's pearly gates Saturday night to see the Crew! It's gonna take a while to edit and post the pics, but y'all gots to check 'em out! Rock Chicago also videotaped the show to run on cable, so sign our mailing list and we'll let you know when it's gonna drop on the tele!
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Posted 6/5/05 Subj: C-note sings the National Anthem at Wrigley
Sunday, August 14th, a plain-clothesed C-note will be dropping the National Anthem at Wrigley with three of his home boys. Sometimes it's aired on the tele, sometimes it snot. Depends on the network, and cubs.com ain't tellin' yet who's runnin' the show...(although we all know it's Bell Biv Devoe..."now you know")
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Posted 6/4/05 Subj: THE FLY GIRLS ARE BACK!
Get cho fest on! TWC is about to let loose on Old Town June 11th for a rare all ages show, and it's the first time since last Halloween that TWC's entire Fly Crew is in effect! Check out our newest addition, M80, who's so fly that she's regulated by tha F.A.A. See our shows page for the 411.
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Posted 5/31/05 Subj: Viva Las Vegas!

Too White Crew was recently aksed to play the grand reopening of the Rio's Voodoo Lounge in Las Vegas! BUT construction delays have made the travel dates impossible to get there for the mid-June bash. So STAY TUNED for TWC's premier showing in Vegas. A Too White Crew showcase has been approved by the Rio, so it's a gonna happen. We just don't gots no firm date yet.

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Posted 5/21/05 subj: C-note flows for Desperate Housewife plumber

After Friday's Crosstown Classic Cubs vs. Sox game, C-note busted a cameo appearance on stage with the Paramours' Niki & Raz. In the front row appeared a familiar face on the tele...Desperate Housewives' Jamie Denton (aka Mike Delfino) who was in town to throw out the first pitch at Wrigley the next day. A video will be posted in a week or two on our vids page showing the world's most famous plumber checking out C-note's flow. In the meantime, here's a pic of the two after the cameo.

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Posted 5/18/05 Subj: Too White Crew's Spring Final Exam

For those of you who ain't on our mailing list, you don't git these little text bombs every couple weeks. So sign up already before you get beeotch slapped. Anyway, this one we're postin' so all you in cyberspace can see if all that indo has affected your mad knowledge of old skool. The winner of this semester's final exam was the only person to lob in a perfect score. We had to grade hundreds of papers, and more than a dozen of you got all but question #4 correct. BUT ONLY MARKY MARK KACH wins the bling, er, gold. He and three homies get to come to an upcoming TWC show with no cover charge and get a round of shots courtesy of the Crew.

(The ansa key is posted at the bottom of our Vids page)

He' we go, he' we go, he' we go...

1) A Family Called Quest -- True or False
2) Koolio, Coolio or Cool E.O.?
3) Who politely asks to clear their throat... and hopes you don't mind?
4) This rapper's name is sometimes sprayed on the faces of chumps who think they gonna git some from a lady who ain't havin' it. (spelling counts)
5) Who came to get down and wants to "rock right now"?
6) Name three rappers whose names are indicative of their girth
7) Biz Markie's "friend" was from which nation?
8) Flavor Flav is to a clock as Kriss Kross is to _______________.
9) How tall does Skee-Lo wish he was?
10) Match the following G's to the cars they've flossed:

A Six Fo'
A Rover, a GS300 AND a drop-top BMW
A Mustang
A hatchback
"C to the A to the DDY"
A Lincoln Continental and a Cadillac (...with a sunroof)
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Posted 5/10/05 Subj: Baby Got Back to Back to Back weekend breakdown

So we rolled into McGee's last Thursday on the front leg of our threefer weekend. We heard the line was out to the El tracks at 9:30 -- and that ain't really no good fo' nobody...'cept McGee's which is cool cuz they cool. For those on "the wrong side of the tracks," sorry 'bout dat. The Meetin' Crew was in full effect and DJ Strike made his most triumphant return to McGee's. Represent represent. If you were there, congratulations. You lost five pounds. It was so daomn hot the dolla dolla Buds were sippin' themselves.

Friday we shook up in P-town. Much love to our bouuyeeee -- Power 92's Big D who made a rock star appearance early on. Yo Stephen, keep up those fiiiiine hiring skillz. Y'all make us feel right at home and we appreciate the love. Chrissy Snow and her posse made her comeback appearance...and Michelle Peplinski -- all the way from ATL! A giant HELL YEAH for comin' out! What's our favorite thing about Crusens you axe? Why it's the insanely loud rattling that the whole outside of the building makes when our sound system starts thumpin'. We're all just waiting for the four walls to fall completely off. Then no one gots ta pay to play.

THEN. Saturday. Club S2X in Coal City, IL. Where? That's right. Coal City. 20 miles from Joliet. Who knew. Words can't begin to describe the scene...the club...No Endo needed for this trip! It's like someone took a giant forklift, scooped up a club on Lake St. and dropped it in the middle of a rural, residential neighborhood while no one was looking. Y'all ever hear of zoning? Dih'n't think so. Neverdaless, we felt ya in the 815 and we look forward to another trippy show in the Coal! You may wanna call your general store to tell 'em to restock their clocks, given how many we saw around your necks!

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Posted 4/25/05 Subj: Blue Iguana Breakdown

Friday's Blue Iguana show was a off the chain AND off the tracks! The packed house got temporarily derailed by a power outage in the first set..., but y'all dih'n't miss a beat and lit up the Iguana until they were hosin' the place down! Crucial Conflict was in the house, Jen Schefft got her old skool on, and the meetin.org posse was in effect. Way to represent the Chi, Aarthizzle, A-train and K-Dawg! Mad respect for the SIX MC's who stepped up to the plate throughout the night: Rory, Phattum Blaze & Encyclopedia Brown, Big Hit Buda & Sean Till Dawn (up from the 309) and Saint Chuck all flossed their skillz. Yo MC's! Getcho flow on -- TWC is gonna host a battle soon! We're lining up a hip hop legend to host it so we can turn over the mic to Chi-town's finest to see who's the maddest rapper in all tha land. Stay tuned this fall for suh'in' y'all ain't neva seen!

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4/16/05 Subj: Mack Daddios breakdown.

It's like this. Bloomington blew up last night and we gots ta give love where love needs to be given: QueLyte celebrated her 21st b-day...again, along with some little vixen and a homeboy (can anyone serve up their names?); we had Big Hit Buda and "Sean Til Dawn" spit some sick flow about Too White Crew during Just a Friend; the isubars.com posse represented; Nicole, Anetta and her crew once again made all the fellas sweat; Becca's team haulin' ass down from the Chi; Tracy & K-dawg, Wendi and all the usual suspects -- "got nuthin' but love fo' ya baby". Mad love to all of you who help us feel it in the 309. It more than makes up for the pain of C-note's jewel encrusted chalice gettin' busted! (DAAOOOMN that hurt!) Hope to see y'all June 24th when we back at the Mack. Group hug.
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Posted 4/11/05 Subj: Well, it ain't quite the Rolling Stone, but...
...Too White Crew is on the cover of this week's River City Times -- a newspaper in Peoria catering to Central Illinois nightlife and entertainment. The headline reads "White People Playing Hip Hop?" (See Front Page) and there's a Q&A interview with C-note. If you're in or around P-town, check it out!
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Posted 3/16/05 Subject: Street Fair Mayhem.
TWC is booking the Chicago summer street fairs right now so if you from outta town and you tryin' to figure out when to come to the Chi this summer, "so sit back, relax an' strap on yo seatbelt...you neva been on a ride like this befo'." We're headlining at least three major street fairs so far. The two whose dates have been inked are St. Michaels on Sat., June 11th, which happens to be the weekend THAT THE BO SOX ARE IN TOWN PLAYING THE CUBBIES FO' THA FIRST TIME EVUH! and Sat. July 2nd for the Lakeview Arts Festival. Monday's a ho'-liday, so ya gets an extra day away from the man. Both of these will be legendary weekends in Chicago so get cho travel on.
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Posted 3/13/05 Subject: Recent show breakdowns...
Daooommn, we been busy! We hit ISU at the end of February (2/26) then had a threefer weekend in the beginning of March. We rolled deep into Iowa City for the first time March 3rd...Yo Hawkeyes -- y'all gotta mount up for the "next episode" on April 7th! As Bell Biv Devoe says, "Now you know." Thanks to the DU house who came out and represented. We rolled back into Chi-town the next night to bomb the Blue Iguana. Shout outs to the ladies from Canada, Michigan and WIU who helped light up the place. Y'all a bunch a dimes! The next night, we turned back around and headed to P-town (that's Peoria for all you crackaz) for our first show with Miller Beer. To the Crusens clan and Miller, mad love. Off the chizzain. And props to the Bradley DU's for rallying on short notice. Then there was McGee's last Thursday. More than 700 homeboys and homegirls slammed that place. That's right, we bombed it.
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Posted 2/20/05 Subject: Saturday's throwdown at Joe's!
Two words: SOLD OUT! Sorry to those who got turned away at the door -- we had no idea it was gonna blow up like that or we'd have warned you! For those who got in, you got TWC the bonus plan...full Fly Crew, Hadji's craziass Humpty cameo (WORD, Hadji!), Tone Loc, B96 Mixmasters, Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock, mayhem, electricity and STUPID amounts of fun. A cable station was there to film our show, so if you're in Chicago, you'll be able to catch it on cable soon. Much love to all the cats who road tripped from Bloomington. We feel ya.

A little Behind the Music story for y'all...during sound check, Tone asked the Crew if we would play Wild Thing WITH him (good thing we just learned it), but it turned out that Woodsy's drums needed to be pulled at the end of our set to make room for Rob Base's tables. Damn.
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Posted 2/6/05 Subject: Who saw C-note bomb Joe's last night with Hairbanger's Ball?
Not a good showing for Chi-town, with all those Midwest values gettin' in the way of future lawsuits! Regardless, the boys (and Polly) rocked the house and C-note dropped a little AC/DC on the crowd to keep 'em honest. If there are any pics floatin' around, we'd appreciate 'em! ...of C-note's cameo, not the GGW shizzot. Y'all give us enough of that yourselves, and frankly it's much better! :)

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Posted 2/4/05 Subject: Suburban Nite Life polls are open!
Click on http://www.nitelife.org/ and vote for Too White Crew for the Best Hip Hop band! And while you're at it, maybe you could toss in a vote for Generations (QueLyte & Milk's other project) for best dance band -- oh yeah, and our homeboys Hairbanger's Ball for best rock band. Not sure what any of it really means, but it'll help kill some time if you be sittin' at work, takin' heat from the man. 8> ) (That's our Humpty smile)

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Posted 2/3/05 Subject: Miller Beer sponsors Too White Crew!
The wuuuuurd is in. Miller Brewing Company is backing Too White Crew this Spring with a kilo of PHAT shows all over the land of Lincoln. TWC and Hairbanger's Ball (yeah, you know 'em) were the only two bands to get Miller's lovin' in Chi-town, so we proud to be in the company of the glam rock tribute kings and the parent company of our favorite, Old English. Somebody screeeeeaaaam!!
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Posted 1/30/05 Subject: The Lodge shoutouts. Looks like we found home in the Six Three Oh! Y'all seem like you needed to let loose and we're amped you partied like it's 1989. To the staff: A big HELL YEAH. Your gitups were better than ours! Good thing you were brown-baggin' those "forties"...considering they were ONLY 32's! Everyone was Too twisted to know they were gettin' jacked out of 8 ounces anyway. Dirty MF, your mixes made our hearts skip a beat -- kinda like the needle we gave you. Sorry 'bout dat. Yo Rapmaster DannyG...you saw the Lodge was the place to be. You rolled from Indiana and we never got a taste. You chose to rock a chair, and not our SM 58's. But then came MC Phattum Blaze like a bat outta hell, who stepped up to the mic and spit out rhymes like Melle Mel.
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Posted 1/29/05 Subject: Daddios shoutouts. Y'all kicked it like you were goin' to the chair! Mad love to the six-pack who busted down from Chi-town and rented the phat suite that rocked until the sun came up. Karen, thanks for warning us about "spearing our beer" on the carpet. "Bithes can't hold their smoke -- dat's what it iiiis." Hadji's Humpty Dance cameo flossin' his Pakistani accent? Seriously, THAT was some funny shit. A bottle of Henn says we'll all hear the splash of Shock G. jumping off the Oakland Bay Bridge when we tell him about that performance. We'll see your middle east ass at Joe's, homeboy! Ryan's 30th b-day had him bustin' verse two of Gin & Juice. That cracker can rock a rhyme. And supervixen bartender Kristin claimed to be another year older at midnight. No one would ever know, yo. So where do we go from here Redbirds? If y'all keep raisin' the bar like dat, we gonna be crackin' the foundation.
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Posted 1/28/05 Subject: McGee's shoutouts. Big D in the hizzouse! It was great to see Power 92's front man comin' up to Chi-town to see us on OUR turf. "Got nuthin' but love for ya baby." Yo Dawn, hookin' us up in da back of the club. We got served. And we liked it. A lot. Shheeet, Woodsy might change his name to Tony Orlando for you. Margie, what took ya so long! Jurec, thanks for helping her see The Light. Shelly on the wheels of steel -- thanks for filling in for DJ Strike. And give it up for Sparky who dropped jaws with his mad poppin' skills.
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Posted 1/14/05 Subject: Flavor Flav & C-note. Keep an eye out -- C-note gave his clock to Flav recently and Flav said, "Seriously, I'm gonna wear the shit outta this clock. You gonna see this on teee-veeee... in tha mooo-veees." So when you see Flav rockin' a giant silver bell clock, it ain't straight outta Compton... or NYC. That's a little Chi-town love hangin' round his neck. Yeaahhhhhh boooooyyyyyyy!
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Posted 1/9/05 Subject: Blue Iguana. Ho'-ly shizzot. Great time last night. Y'all came ready to get cho groove on! Mad love to Kimmy and the "Cheeseburger in Paradise" posse that threw down. So much for that stack of "Got Back?" t-shirts that was supposed to last us through the winter! "It make a playa say daaaaamn...I'm finally taxin' mo' play than homey Saaaaam". Note to the Blue Iguana: staff more than two bartenders when we play there! Them two were busier than a crack ho' on Weed St. at closing time!
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Posted 12/24/04 Subject: HAPPY HOLIDAZE!
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Posted 12/23/04 Subject: LEGENDS OF HIP HOP SHOW IN CHICAGO 12/30 (Arie Crown Theater in McCormick Place). In case y'all haven't heard, Public Enemy is gonna be in Chicago Dec. 30th with Doug E. Fresh, MC Lyte, Too Short, Slick Rick and Big Daddy Kane. C-note and DJ Shor T are gonna hit this show with Big D from Power 92, so drop us a line if you wanna meet up at the sho', yo.
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Posted 12/20/04 Subject: RAP SNACKS. Y'all seen 'em? They're bags of funky-flavored chips sold in the hood which feature rap artists with a positive message -- like Master P saying "Stay in School". Heckler Jen gave me a shitload of these godawful-tasting chips. In her words: "They taste like donkey...only the packaging is fresh." That won't stop me from passing out some of them at upcoming shows. Check 'em out at www.rapsnacks.com. "It's soooooo fresh!"
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Posted 12/19/04 Subject: 12/17 SHOW AT DADDIOS IN BLOOMINGTON -- What the hell is with the 309? Or is it just B-town? There is NOWHERE -- except the home of the Redbirds, where we can turn the mic into the crowd and have the whole crowd flow an entire verse like y'all did in Regulate. I guess we'll find out soon enough if it's the whole damn area code that's down with O.P.P. when we hit Crusens in Peoria on Jan. 14th.

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Posted 12/17/04 Subject: 12/16 SHOW AT BLUE IGUANA CHICAGO -- Soooo, yeah. We bring in our own sound system cuz the Iguana's ain't cuttin' it...and what happens? We blow the circuit breaker during Poison. What y'all don't know is that in our two years of TWC, we've had exactly four power meltdowns -- and three of them were during Poison. The fourth was during the Humpty at the Blue Iguana in Tinley. So what gives? Why during Poison? Cuz "ya never trust a big butt and a smiiiile".

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