This one’s gonna leave a mark…
We’ve survived a lot of shit in our 12 years together, not the least of which has been roughly 50 nights in Peoria, but honestly I’m a little scared of this next Crusens show this Saturday, Dec. 6th because each of the following leads to doing more stupid shit than usual in Peoria. And we’re already at the maximum allowed by law. Allow me to break it down:
1) It’s the 7th annual Booty Shake World Championships. This is serious stuff. If we weren’t so respectful of all things holy, we’d call it a twerk contest these days. But’s it’s not. It’s a damn booty shake contest. In fact, we’re so militant about this contest’s honor that last year, the title belt was withheld because our officiant Big D, in conjunction with the crowd, determined NO contestant emerged as having the most superior posterior. So the belt has been idle for one year and is being retrieved from our safety deposit box at Chase, because we chase what matters. Which is world class booty. So if you have one, bring it to Crusens. If you win, you get a crisp hunnit dolla bill, the title belt for one year, mad bragging rights and the right to defend your title at the 2015 championships. Here’s a lil video to get you ready.
2) It’s PopTart’s birthday. This little pistol can tilt a fo’ty like it’s her Jay Oh Bee. Oh wait. It kinda is. So be a pal and tilt one back with her.
3) It’s our 12 year anniversary. Normally we would have this party at Joe’s on Weed St, which is where it all began, but our Joe’s show isn’t until January, so what better place to celebrate our dirty dozen years years together than at our home away from home, P-town.
4) Boone’s Farm Jello Shots. This is where the pain sets in. Strawberry Hill Jello Shots are all the rage…in our minds. In fact, we invented this nightmare-in-a-cup and we can’t wait to see how bad of an idea this really is.
5) All the usual suspects will be on hand: Big D, DJ McFly, Power 92.3, our own David Da Legend Ingram, P-tugz and maybe even our Extremely Worthless Posse or a couple spare Fly Girls will show up to fill in some seats on the Blue Bomb.
6) The after party. Because it wouldn’t be Peoria without a trip downtown to risk a disco ball falling on us and some life-threatening late night food. So we’ll see you at Berlin, and then, well, you know.
7) To wrap this all up in a nice little bow, we took Friday night off so we can rack up the sleep that we will not get Saturday night. We also took next weekend off, which should help us wrestle Peoria’s time-release hangovers.