Too White Crew - Chicago's All Live Hip Hop Tribute Band

The TWC Posse, explained.

If you have ever come to a Too White Crew show and wondered why there was a table full of  O.G’s on stage whose only contribution to the show was to take up space on the stage, wonder no more. Behold, TWC’s Extremely Worthless Posse:

Too White Crew's Extremely Worthless Posse

So let’s break it down. When you blow up, you gotta take care of your homies. That’s the law.  Your posse was with you when you were making beats in your momses’ basement – before your game was so large that you need help carrying it. And you can’t forget em now. You gotta give em a taste and let them come along for the ride.  In exchange, they do some trivial shit to earn their keep — shield you from hood rats, score your weed for you, line up the freaks to come back to the hotel, pack heat, bodyguard, keep the rims clean and make sure your real woman can’t find you.

Now, that’s the way it’s supposta work.

Not Too White Crew’s posse. The Extremely Worthless Posse don’t do shit. They think their only job is to show up and drink everything in sight — all while playing dominoes, shootin’ dice, smoking Philly Blunts and taking up valuable real estate on our stage.  In fact, they don’t even know there’s a damn show going on and if they do, they’re usually spilling malt liquor on our power strips.

We actually have two “xWposse’s” — The OG Posse and the Sutton Sutton Posse. Each one has carefully mastered the art of finding the lowest level of productivity humanly possible, then channeling that lack of energy into a black hole of bullshit and worthlessness – a black hole that has attracted world-class icons of menial existence to sit in with the Posse, like the famous meme Scumbag Steve:

The reason you don’t see the xWposse at every show is because they honestly don’t even know our schedule.  None of them have internet access or a smart phone…or in some instances, even a phone. Or a car. They kinda just show up whenever they remember, drop their card table on our stage and ask us for the bottle of Hennessy. For more on the TWC Posse, click on their bio.

Sir Mix-A-Lot’s Posse is on Broadway.  Too White Crew’s posse is on empty.

 

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