The Crew is back with our brand new invention.
You’ve all been waiting too long! It’s finally here and just in time for Valentine’s Day — the TWC Booty Sketch. Ladies buy your G a matted painting of your asssssset tonight at Uncle Fatty’s “Lakeview”! Only $20 to say “I love you…but not as much as you love this.”
5th Annual Booty Shake World Championships Are Coming!
Oh boyee, we’re just jiggly with excitement. First of all, and most importantly, let’s talk booty. The 5th Annual Booty Shake World Championships are being held at our show Saturday, December 8th in Peoria. How does it work? At every TWC show, we have a Booty Shake Contest and anyone who has ever won one of our contests gets a berth into the Championships. The winner goes home with the title belt, keeps it for a year and returns the following year to defend her title.
Why Peoria? Well, the first two Championships were held in Chicago, but we noticed a disturbing trend — disturbing if you have Chi pride that is: Just about every Booty Shake winner from any show in Peoria would have mopped the stage with anyone in the finals in Chicago. Believe us when we say it is bittersweet to report that finding, being from Chicago and all. But we gotta give credit where credit it due, and it’s due. Word to Peoria…and to whatever you’re doing down there to breed world class ass.
So we moved it to P-town three years ago and the finals have been just dandy — truly worthy of a “World Championship”. We’d put up these finalists’ backsides against any booty shakin’ vids you can find on YouTube. Peoria’s own “Big D”, formerly of KISS-FM will again be driving from Michigan to officiate this mess. This is must see TWC. Get there early cuz it’s gonna get butts to nuts fast.
As always, Crusens has mad drink specials and the party continues on downtown when we’ve made a big enough mess of Crusens.
Top 10 reasons to go to our Peoria Riverfront show this Friday…
10. It’s the only TWC show in the 309 this summer. Not a big deal, but extended TWC absences have been particularly problematic for booty shakers who need to pop they booties regularly to stay fresh.
9. Break dancers? Check. Peoria’s own Dopestylez crew will be bum rushing the stage during our show, with moves that beg for hospitalization.
8. We’re bringing TWC’s Extremely Worthless Posse for the first time ever. This professional collection of drunks who sit on stage and do nothing but drink Hennessey and play dominoes think they invented binge drinking. They haven’t been to Peoria.
7. The Brass Funkeez horn section will be in full effect. Adding them to the band…the Fly Girls…the Extremely Worthless Posse and the Dopestylez Crew, that means that there will be more than 25 people on stage at one point during our show. Someone’s bound to catch a flying limb to the face and you have a chance to see it live.
6. DJ McFly is opening the night at the riverfront, spinning during our break, then spinning at Shifters late night — which will be the second stop on our After Party Destruction Tour.
5. Which brings us to our first after party spot — Crusens on the Farm. Our homies The Breakfast Club will be performing and they’re way more fun than the pulled tricep you got from doing the worm at our show. Bonus: their waitstaff rules and will make you feel like you gon’ get sumadat. You won’t, but that ain’t no thang.
4. New jams. The riverfront is about to get a dose of late 90′s hip hop along with the classics from the 80′s through the mid-90′s that we’ve been reppin’ since the beginning of time.
3. KISS-FM will be all up in it. That usually means they’ll give away a bunch of stuff that you’ll either lose, forget or break. It’ll seem completely awesome when you catch it in the crowd though, so that’s a plus.
2. No ID? No problem. It’s all ages. Parents, bring your shorties. Better to break ‘em in with Baby Got Back than Beez in the Trap. And all you future G’s and Fly Girls, come experience the old school flava that put the hip in hip hop.
1. This is how we do it, it’s Friday niiiight. And it feels so riiiight. The party’s here on the west side!
Here are pics of last year’s show where we shattered the attendance record.
309, let’s do this dayom thang!
PEORIAAAA!!!
Our booty shake contests are so fine in the 309 that we upped the haul with this little doll. Money can’t buy a Billy Dee Williams bobble head, but the best booty at Crusens this Saturday takes this one home!
Just in time for tax day!
Wouldn’t it be nice if you could drown your tax sorrows on the cheap? Well, the Tilted Kilt in Elgin is ready to serve up the mother lode Saturday night — delicious cans of Colt 45 served in Colt’s commemorative brown bag coozie for a mere $2.99! It’s a guaranteed five-star hangover for under $20. Brilliant.
So to recap — This Saturday. Tilted Kilt in Elgin. Colt 45 and TWC.
Live art on stage with us this Saturday at Cubby Bear in Wrigleyville!
He’s back! Chicago artist “Ruin” will be on stage with us this Saturday at the Cubby Bear, creating extra fresh art that your drunk ass can buy and subsequently forget in a cab. What a deal!
While you’re there, enjoy the other live art on stage — our Extremely Worthless Posse, providing absolutely no value whatsoever while they drink everything in sight and chase away all our hoes with their bush league game.
