Too White Crew - Chicago's All Live Hip Hop Tribute Band

peoria

Pro tip for bands who play at Crusens in Peoria…

Don’t book a show the night before. And definitely don’t book a show the night after. Carve out a few days to prepare (like, your will) and recover (doctor visits) hope the good lord is watching over you during your stay. Pray. See you this Saturday!

Crusens this Saturday!

It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

The 8th Annual Booty Shake World Championships are at Crusens in Peoria this Saturday! This is serious stuff. There’s a title belt at stake, $100, pride and mad bragging rights. Last year’s winner is also coming back to defend her title against this year’s best in show so this year’s finals is sure to be a real nail biter.

2014 Booty Shake Champion

 

But wait there’s more! Our officiant Big D will be back on the mic…DJ McFly will be there and all turnt cuz it’s his birthday…KISS FM will be in the house…we’re bringing back our west coast Fly Girl Coco Puffs out of retirement AND y’all get to see one or our newest Fly Girls, Backstop! Then of course, the after party. Because it wouldn’t be Peoria without a trip downtown to risk a disco ball falling on us and some colon-unfriendly late night food. So we’ll see you at Berlin, and then, well, you know.

So if you have a world class back side, bring it to Crusens on Farmington Rd. Too White Crew takes the stage at 10:30 and the he carnage begins by midnight. If you win, you get a crisp hunnit, the title belt for one year and the right to defend your title at the 2016 championships. Here’s a lil video to get you ready.

 

Fri @ Nevin’s & Sat @ Crusens!

Size doesn’t matter! Come see us wreck shop on a stage the size of a laundry token! 

Then Saturday, it’s our most triumphant return to Peoria! See you at Berlin for the after party… 

A Lil Wayne / TWC college tour?

Since Weezy is comin’ to P-town tonight and since we’re wreckin’ shop on the same stage this Saturday, we thought we’d share a little story about how TWC almost went on tour with Lil Wayne a bunch of years ago…

We got a call from an agent who was booking a midwest college tour for Lil Wayne. It was supposed to be 5 or 6 shows. And they needed an opening act. And Too White Crew gets the call??? I told the guy something like, “Not to discredit what we do or anything, but like, you sure this is the mix you’re looking for? I mean you know we’re basically on the other end of the hip hop spectrum, right?”

His response – if I could condense and rephrase what he was trying to say, was, “Exactly. In order for these college admins to approve a show like Lil Wayne and not have a beatdown from parents whose kids’ tuitions are helping fund these concerts, we need to water that shit down with something a little, well, lighter than Lil Wayne. That’s where Too White Crew comes in.”

Ha. We get it. And we thought, “Hell, a little tour with Lil Wayne? Why not.” So just as we were putting the ink to paper on the tour, Lil Wayne got arrested for gun possession and the whole tour got canceled. Dammit, Weezy. Man the stories we coulda had.

Ha. Oh well. Have fun tonight P-town! See you Saturday night!

C

This one’s gonna leave a mark…

We’ve survived a lot of shit in our 12 years together, not the least of which has been roughly 50 nights in Peoria, but honestly I’m a little scared of this next Crusens show this Saturday, Dec. 6th because each of the following leads to doing more stupid shit than usual in Peoria. And we’re already at the maximum allowed by law. Allow me to break it down:

1) It’s the 7th annual Booty Shake World Championships. This is serious stuff. If we weren’t so respectful of all things holy, we’d call it a twerk contest these days. But’s it’s not. It’s a damn booty shake contest. In fact, we’re so militant about this contest’s honor that last year, the title belt was withheld because our officiant Big D, in conjunction with the crowd, determined NO contestant emerged as having the most superior posterior. So the belt has been idle for one year and is being retrieved from our safety deposit box at Chase, because we chase what matters. Which is world class booty. So if you have one, bring it to Crusens. If you win, you get a crisp hunnit dolla bill, the title belt for one year, mad bragging rights and the right to defend your title at the 2015 championships. Here’s a lil video to get you ready.

2) It’s PopTart’s birthday. This little pistol can tilt a fo’ty like it’s her Jay Oh Bee. Oh wait. It kinda is. So be a pal and tilt one back with her.

3) It’s our 12 year anniversary. Normally we would have this party at Joe’s on Weed St, which is where it all began, but our Joe’s show isn’t until January, so what better place to celebrate our dirty dozen years years together than at our home away from home, P-town.

4) Boone’s Farm Jello Shots. This is where the pain sets in. Strawberry Hill Jello Shots are all the rage…in our minds. In fact, we invented this nightmare-in-a-cup and we can’t wait to see how bad of an idea this really is.

5) All the usual suspects will be on hand: Big D, DJ McFly, Power 92.3, our own David Da Legend Ingram, P-tugz and maybe even our Extremely Worthless Posse  or a couple spare Fly Girls will show up to fill in some seats on the Blue Bomb.

6) The after party. Because it wouldn’t be Peoria without a trip downtown to risk a disco ball falling on us and some life-threatening late night food. So we’ll see you at Berlin, and then, well, you know.

7) To wrap this all up in a nice little bow, we took Friday night off so we can rack up the sleep that we will not get Saturday night. We also took next weekend off, which should help us wrestle Peoria’s time-release hangovers.

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What you SHOULD be doing.

Wednesday means we’ve made it halfway through another week. It also means the weekend is creepin’ up. Too White Crew‘s got two bomb-ass shows lined up THIS WEEKEND so we can all party together.
Friday, we’re comin’ H.O.M.E. and the whole crew be raging out in Arlington Heights from 10PM ’til they tell us to stop. Then we gotta book before we all get put away.
We’re planning our recovery for Saturday in Peoria. Yes, you heard me correctly. We are finally back at Crusens II on Farmington Rd! I know, I know, we can’t believe it either. It’s been far too long since we’ve had one of those classic shitshows that we’re all so used to. 10:30. Be there.

…So no you know our plan; and below, I’ve provided ya’ll with a todo list of what you SHOULD be doing before the end of the day:

1) Get all your pre-gaming essentials on ice – vodka, mixers, fireball, beer… you get it.
2) Send that mass text out to all your girls, or guys, and let them know where you’re gonna be and that they need to be there too.
3) Get an extra change of clothes, because you never know what the hell your night will turn into. You think I’m kidding…
4) Get a pen and paper.
5) Before you leave the office, write a note for your boss – just giving a heads up – that you’re planning to hit it hard this weekend, and you may not make it back Monday. There is always a chance that you end up needing that extra rehab day.
6) Start hydrating.
7) Share with us your crazy experience on all social networks, because that’s just how you roll. #toowhitecrew #sorryiparty

Aaaaaaaaand go!

The Fly Girls give a little suhin suhin back to Peoria…

6th Annual Booty Shake World Championships Are Coming!

Oh boyee, we’re just jiggly with excitement.  First of all, and most importantly, let’s talk booty.

Why Peoria? Well, the first two Championships were held in Chicago, but we noticed a disturbing trend — disturbing if you have Chi pride that is: Just about every Booty Shake winner from any show in Peoria would have mopped the stage with most of the finalists elsewhwere. Believe us when we say it is bittersweet to report that finding, being from Chicago and all. But we gotta give credit where credit it due, and it’s due. Word to Peoria…and to whatever you’re doing down there to breed world class trunks.

So we moved it to P-town four years ago and the finals have been just dandy — truly worthy of a “World Championship”. We’d put these finalists’ backsides up against any booty shakin’ vids you can find on YouTube. Peoria’s own “Big D”, formerly of KISS-FM will again be driving from Michigan to officiate this mess. This is must see TWC. Get there early cuz it’s gonna get butts to nuts fast.

As always, Crusens has mad drink specials and the party continues on downtown when we’ve made a big enough mess of Crusens.

Check it!

Click on the image to get whisked away to this extra fly gallery on Facebook or click here to creep the same pics on Flickr.

This Fri. @ Fat City in Champaign and Sat. @ Crusens in Peoria!