If you have ever come to a Too White Crew show and wondered why there was a table full of O.G Mack’s on stage whose greatest contribution to the show was apparently making sure that their section of the stage didn’t inexplicably fly away, wonder no more. It’s time to break it down.
Behold, TWC’s Extremely Worthless Posse:
It’s like this. When you blow up, you gotta take care of your homies. Those are the rules, playa. Your posse was with you before your game was so large that you need help carrying it and you can’t forget em now. You gotta give em a taste and let em come along for the ride. In exchange, they do some trivial shit to earn their keep — shield you from hood rats, buy weed, line up the freaks to come back to the hotel, pack, bodyguard, keep the rims clean and make sure your woman can’t find you.
Now, that’s the way it supposta work.
Not Too White Crew’s posse. They don’t do shit. They think their only job is to show up and drink everything in sight — all while playing bones, shootin’ dice, smoking Philly Blunts and taking up valuable real estate on our stage. In fact, they don’t even know there’s a damn show goin’ on around them.
We have several posse’s — and each one has carefully mastered the art of finding the lowest level of productivity humanly possible, then channeling that lack of energy into a black hole of worthlessness.
The reason you don’t see them at every show is because they honestly don’t even know our schedule. None of them have internet access or a smart phone…or in some instances, even a phone. Or a car. They kinda just show up whenever they remember to, drop their card table on our stage and ask us where the bottle of Hennessey is.
Sir Mix-A-Lot’s Posse is on Broadway. Too White Crew’s posse is on empty.